Since former American University president Richard Berendzen pleaded guilty May 23 to two charges of making obscene phone calls, friends of his wife, Gail Berendzen, have been asking each other how they could show their support of her. Now they've decided how -- on June 26, a luncheon will honor Gail Berendzen at the Four Seasons Hotel. If only half the people who have dined at the Berendzen table attend, the lunchers will number in the hundreds. About 300 are expected.

"Fellow committeewomen, socialites, congressional and diplomatic wives, and AU supporters -- everyone loves her," said Deborah Toll, the prime organizer of the event. "Gail deserves the tribute. She's worked very hard in the 10 years or so to bring people and money to AU." Toll has reason to be sympathetic. A year ago her husband, John Toll, then chancellor of the University of Maryland, was ousted in a collision with the university's Board of Regents; he is now president of Universities Research Association Inc.

Allison LaLand, a real estate agent and another of the 17 lunch organizers, said yesterday: "Though Washington can be a cold, hard, cruel city, sometimes people do rally around. Gail has a lot of friends; she's much respected. Lots of people want to support her, but don't want to intrude. So coming to lunch seems like a nice thing to do. Just a year ago, when John Toll was having his problem, Debby went ahead and gave her annual spring lunch. And Gail toasted Debby for all she'd done for the university."

Deborah Toll said that when she took Gail Berendzen a copy of the invitation, "I thought she looked rather pale when she came to the door. She said this was the first time she had come out of the house when there weren't people lurking in the bushes."

Off Again, On Again Princess Stephanie of Monaco is believed to have broken off her engagement to a young French real estate executive, family friends said yesterday. The 25-year-old Stephanie announced her engagement to Jean-Yves le Fur in April, but set no date for the wedding. A palace spokeswoman declined to comment. The couple, who met in September, were last seen together at the Monaco Formula One Grand Prix last month. Le Fur was seen with Stephanie's brother, Prince Albert, at the French Open tennis tournament earlier this month.

Playwright-screenwriter-director Garson Kanin, married for 43 years to actress Ruth Gordon, is planning to marry again Tuesday. Gordon died five years ago. Kanin, 77, has been dating Marian Seldes, an actress who has appeared in the long-running stage hits "Equus" and "Deathtrap," and who is now in Chester, Conn., playing the role of commissioner Harriet Stark in the revised "Annie II." According to Kanin's spokesman, the couple will be wedded in New York City in a civil ceremony attended by only a handful of guests.

Dirty Tricks The sheriff in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., who arrested three people on obscenity charges related to the banned 2 Live Crew rap album is now hearing selections from the album on his own communications channel. A prankster played "Me So Horny," one of the band's songs with sexually explicit lyrics, several times Tuesday on the Broward County sheriff's channel, which is normally used by law officers on patrol. The song is from 2 Live Crew's album "As Nasty as They Wanna Be," which was declared obscene by a federal judge in suburban Miami last week. Sheriff Nick Navarro was not amused. "I hope it stops," he said. "I hope whoever {the prankster} was gets it out of his system."

Another Laurel for Havel Yesterday in Paris, Czechoslovak President Vaclav Havel was awarded the 1990 Simon Bolivar Prize from UNESCO for his long struggle to lead his country to freedom. The prize, awarded every two years by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, recognizes those who contribute to the liberty, independence and dignity of a people. The Bolivar Prize, which carries an award of $25,000, is named after the South American patriot who liberated much of the continent from Spanish rule in the early 19th century.