Perturbations, pleasures and predicaments on the information superhighway:

French fries, my friend warned, are simply jackets for grease. So what? came my reply. I wanted fries, had to have them that day after discovering "The Official French Fries Page" while browsing the Yahoo on-line index.

The page declares itself an "international shrine built with love and ketchup" to the "much-maligned French Fry." It is a tasty site -- it includes the nine pages of the U.S. Code of Federal Regulations for french fries, which the authors (folks at Select-Ware Inc.) say shows that "clearly, U.S. taxpayers' money has not gone completely to waste."

"The French Fry is a very complex food, with a rich history and a culture unto itself," the site says. The "French Fries around the world" section reveals that mayonnaise and a slice of lemon are favorite condiments in Japan. In the Netherlands, it's ketchup, curry sauce, garlic sauce, barbecue sauce, peanut sauce and "mustardy" mayo.

The site is updated frequently. One recent addition is a french fry gallery of art. The first piece displayed is a work called "Hindu Ketchup," by Sandra Guzdek. A man also sent in a picture he took in Norway of an automatic french fry vending machine. The pommes frites are cooked on the spot in 3 1/2 minutes and come out in a cup slightly larger than a standard foam plastic coffee cup through a large red door. Salt and ketchup are dispensed through a smaller door. Be still my heart. -- Yvonne Shinhoster Lamb lamby@washpost.com

GETTING THERE: Set your Web searcher to http://www.select-ware .com/fries/. Easter on the Net

A New Jersey surfer has linked his passion for the World Wide Web to the Passion of Christ.

Rich Miller, of Lawrenceville, N.J., has established Easter in Cyberspace, an on-line collection of Scripture readings, religious art and essays detailing the final days of Christ on Earth and the story of His Resurrection.

Here you will find no Easter bunnies, the home page proclaims, but a litany and library of information and images for holiday meditation and worship.

It's nothing if not eclectic. There is the Lenten message of Pope John Paul II, an Easter sermon from the Greendale People's Church of Worcester, Mass., and a page showing how to make Ukrainian Easter eggs. There's a link to the Easter page of St. John's Lutheran in Brookfield, Wis., which links to the Bible resources of Gospel Communications Network. Those wanting to contemplate the Scripture further can type in a word or passage and have desired verses presented on their screens.

The Easter Page indulges the eye and the spirit with artworks inspired by biblical passages. Here you can gaze upon Leonardo da Vinci's "Last Supper," Bellini's "The Entombment" and Giotto's "The Mourning of Christ." -- Robert Thomason thomason@clark.net

GETTING THERE: Easter in Cyberspace is at http://members.aol.com/REMinistry /devotionals/easter.html. The Easter Page is at http://www.execpc.com/ tmuth/ easter/. Gospel Communications Network is at http://www.gospelcom.net. Seen Any Seans?

Right among you are agents of a dastardly organization, waiting, watching, planning to take over the world. I should know -- I found out recently that I was part of it.

It is the International Brotherhood of Seans.

Now, I could be in grave danger for telling you all this, but I can keep my silence no longer. Why a conspiracy of Seans? Because we are an oppressed minority, and the fact that we are not recognized as such just proves the point. Just try to find items on the "personalized gift racks" at stores. Countless times each day you will hear a Sean on a phone say, "No . . . that's with an E-A. The ultimate humiliation: having someone walk into a room and bellow, "Is there a Seen' here?"

Oh, the horror. But the IBOS has a Web site that is a vital link to Seans throughout the known universe, including hypertext connections to every Sean-related Web page (at least 80 of them) and a list of e-mail Seans. Tomorrow, the world! -- Sean O'Sullivan seanos@shore1.intercom.net

GETTING THERE: Point your Web browser to http://www.compulink.co.uk/ 11kbw/ibos/ibos.htm. It's a Small World

"Garry Kasparov, you've just beaten the world's most powerful chess computer. What are you going to do next?"

"I'm going to http://www .disneyworld.com." -- Evan Roth rothe@washpost.com Found something intriguing, improbable, insane or especially useful on the Net? Write it up and send it to Karen Marrero -- marrerok@washpost.com -- or Joel Garreau -- garreau@well.com. CAPTION: Easter in Cyberspace features art such as Bellini's "The Entombment" as well as Scripture readings, essays and holiday hints.