What Was Seen but Not Heard, Heard but Not Seen

Pssstt . . . Wanna see a bit of what went on at last month's "Cherry Jubilee" gay dance, which Rep. Bob Dornan (R-Calif.) has denounced as "perversion" and Rep. Steve Gunderson (R-Wis.) has praised as a "gift of love" AIDS fund-raiser?

Then call the Family Research Council, which commissioned a video of the April 13 soiree at the Mellon Auditorium on Constitution Avenue. The federal hall has been rented by groups ranging from the National Institutes of Health Children's Inn gala committee to the Art Deco Society.

The dance, which drew 2,000 people, lasted from 9 p.m. to 6 a.m., but the six-minute video contains only a few moments of freelance journalist Marc Morano's surreptitious party footage. The scenes are pretty tame. Nothing on the video, screened by The Source, illustrates the most graphic voice-over allegations of illicit conduct in a public building: "Just off the dance floor at least one couple appeared to be having oral sex. . . . In the restrooms, men met to have sex with one another. . . . The sounds coming from {the stalls} indicated that cocaine was being snorted and sex acts were occurring."

The video shows some gyrating, shirtless men, which apparently translates as "half-naked" to Bob Knight, the Family Research Council's cultural studies director, who called the footage "boring because there is so much darkness. {Morano} didn't have an infrared light. It was the same thing in the bathroom -- darkness. He wasn't about to stick the camera over the bathroom stall."

The video also alleges that so many men paired off in the nearby alley that "security people finally closed it off."

Andre Smith, president of Maine 1 Protective Service, which policed the event, said he and five other guards saw no sex or drugs. "As a matter of fact, it was an extremely tame crowd. We were pretty much bored, speaking from a security standpoint." The alley was closed to keep crashers from passing as paying guests, Smith said.

Ryan Peal, one of the event's four organizers, said he saw no drugs but "I think when you have a lot of people together there will always be people who cross the line."

As for sex, co-organizer Kenny Eggerl said he saw none: "Believe me, if there had been, I would have been right there watching it." NOW YOU KNOW...

* On the eve of Bob Dole's big announcement, Newt Gingrich and John Engler enjoyed an intimate dinner -- just the two of them -- at Sam & Harry's in downtown Washington. The Michigan governor, said to be on the very short list as Dole's running mate, diets before he campaigns, aides have said, so we inquired as to the menu.

Inconclusive: The boys ate New York strip steaks and buttered vegetables and shared a bottle of red wine, but neither had dessert.

Newt paid.

* The Hill was just crawling with Personalities yesterday: Isaac Hayes, Mr. Hot Buttered Soul himself, met with Reps. John Conyers, Cynthia McKinney, Donald Payne and Benjamin Gilman about the World Literature Crusade. A high school dropout and now a devout Scientologist, Hayes told The Post's Jill Hudson that literacy is "key to helping kids in the inner city get help. We are able to use L. Ron Hubbard's techniques to teach people to read."

Mariah Carey sang at a memorial service for slain police officers, and Denise Brown, sister of the late Nicole Brown Simpson, testified about "stopping the cycle of violence" before a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing.

* Certainly not on a diet is former Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka, who had a serious heart attack a couple of years ago. While waiting for a flight out of Toronto over the weekend, our spy saw him put away a huge piece of sausage, a bag of chips and a half-pound bar of chocolate, and then lick the mustard off the little packet, before washing it all down with a tiny bottle of Perrier.

* Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas made it legal in a quickie ceremony Tuesday at a London government office. She wore a simple white outfit; we pray he washed his hair. Their baby is due in September. Reeve, Playing to A Packed House

Veteran environmental and arts activist Christopher Reeve came back to Washington as a lobbyist again yesterday. He was wearing a navy blazer, khaki pants, a striped shirt and a respirator tube where his tie would have been.

By the time he went home to Westchester, N.Y., the paralyzed actor had received a pledge from President Clinton to commit $10 million in new moneys to fund spinal-cord-injury research. "I said, Don't you want to announce that?' and he said, No, you go ahead,' " Reeve recounted after holding his first post-accident news conference, in a Senate meeting room.

His appearance drew quite a pack of elected representatives, among them Sens. Bill Bradley, Patrick Leahy, Nancy Kassebaum, Jay Rockefeller and Tom Harkin, as well as Reps. Sue Kelly and Carolyn Maloney.

"There's almost more senators here than you ever find on the Senate floor," cracked Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.), who chairs the subcommittee responsible for funding NIH and through it, neurological research. After hearing of the president's promise, Specter indicated Congress would be shaking loose more money as well.

Researchers are close to understanding how to regenerate severed nerves, said Reeve, which would improve paralysis victims' independence and dramatically reduce the costs of their long-term care.

"I will walk again," said Reeve, 43. "You only have two choices. Either you vegetate and look out the window, or activate and try to effect change."

He and his wife, Dana, are exploring with his doctors having another baby to join their son, Will, 3, they told Liz Smith in an interview in the June issue of Good Housekeeping. And, he said yesterday, he is directing an HBO drama about a dying boy who comes home to reconcile with his parents, and a feature film for Hollywood Pictures.

Of his lobbying, Reeve said, "This can't be my life."

CAPTION: Christopher Reeve during his news conference yesterday.

CAPTION: Rep. Gunderson and a tape of the proceedings. See for yourself.

CAPTION: Hayes: Giving illiteracy the shaft.