I have been engaged to a wonderful man for four years. We plan to be married within the next six months. The problem is, I have met someone else. Nothing has happened between us except for some mild flirting. I want to be with this other person. SHE makes me feel good. She is totally nonjudgmental and supportive in everything I do. We are like soul mates.
I don't know what to do, Ann. I love my fiance, but I am not sure if I am "in" love with him. He is well-off financially, we have a great time together, and we have a lot in common. However, when this other person and I talk about a life together, where we would go and what we would do, I am in seventh heaven.
Am I being foolish? Should I leave my fiance to be with her, or should I continue to live a life filled with confusion? She makes me feel like no one ever has. When she looks at me and smiles, I melt. When we talk about being together, I get this feeling of total happiness. I need your help, Ann. Don't fail me.
Anonymous in Rhode Island
Please do your fiance (and yourself) an enormous favor and tell him at once that the wedding is off. To marry this man when you have such amorous feelings about a woman would be a grave injustice.
Obviously, you do not fully understand your bisexuality and have not come to terms with it. Until you do, your life will be a morass of confusion, ambivalence and duplicity. Please get professional help at once. It will not make you straight, but it will give you some understanding, which obviously, you desperately need.
My wife, who is in her mid-forties, has not been to a doctor in 14 years. I cannot even get her to go in for a mammogram. I am deeply concerned, because she was adopted at an early age, and has no idea of her birth parents' medical history.
I have begged, pleaded, threatened and cajoled to get this woman to go in for a medical check-up, but have had no success whatsoever. When I pleaded with her to do this for her children's sake, she finally agreed to make an appointment. I was elated. That was two months ago, but she has still not gone.
My wife is overweight by at least 100 pounds. I suspect that may have something to do with her reluctance to see a doctor. I am frustrated and angry and more than a little frightened. What do you suggest?
Stymied in Idaho
It should be apparent to you by this time that the reason your wife does not wish to go near a doctor is because she will be told that she must lose weight -- a lot of it -- and she doesn't want to hear this. I hope, for her sake as well as yours and the children's, that she will relent when she sees your letter in my column and get to a doctor as soon as possible. It would not be an exaggeration to say this is an emergency.
I am a 28-year-old mother of one lovely child. After a long and costly divorce, now broke but happy, I find myself in love with a wonderful man -- my Prince Charming. We both fantasize about getting married in a beautiful church wedding with ushers, bridesmaids, organ music, etc., but as a divorced Catholic, can this be a reality? If so, what are the steps we must take to make it happen? If not, what are my options? Please help my dream come true.
Yes, it's possible for your dream to become a reality. Contact your local pastor, and he or she will instruct you about the steps needed to get an annulment. Happy wedding bells.