Dear Ann:

You hear a lot about the poor snorers; how they are picked on, made fun of, and some even say their condition can be life-threatening. Well, there is a flip side to this condition that goes untold. I'm talking about the snorer's spouse, who has to sleep in the same bed with him.

My husband's snoring could wake the dead. I cannot remember the last time I was able to sleep all night without moving to the couch. He always says, "Just wake me up." Well, I do, and within 30 seconds he is at it again. He says, "I'll move to the couch," but he never does. He says, "I'll have the surgery," but he never gets around to making the appointment. He says he snores because he is tired. Well, I'm tired, too. What's more, I believe that his condition is life-threatening to me, also, because I have to face each day without enough sleep.

It burns me up when he acts like his snoring is a big joke. He laughs and thinks it's funny, but he is the only one who is laughing. Surgery won't happen, snore strips don't work (he has tried them), and consideration for me seems to be zero. They say "misery loves company." I'd like to know how others handle this problem.

Dead Tired in Shreveport, La.

Your husband might be more inclined to check out the surgical possibilities if he knew that two of the procedures do not require hospitalization. He should discuss it with his doctor or a sleep specialist, or contact the American Sleep Apnea Association, 1424 K St., Suite 302, Washington, D.C. 20005 (

Tell your beloved this could be the best birthday or Christmas gift he could give you -- whichever comes first. Meanwhile, dear, try earplugs. Good luck, and pleasant dreams.

Dear Ann:

My boyfriend and I recently moved into an apartment. We saved money for a long time to buy good furniture. However, like other couples who are just starting out, there are some things we haven't been able to buy yet.

My boyfriend's mother, "Janet," is a nice person, and we have always gotten along well, but now there's a problem. Two weeks ago she dropped by, walked through our apartment, then left without saying a word. Hours later, she returned with several boxes of gifts. She put up a shower curtain, placed plants in the living room, and hung several pictures.

Although her gifts were things we needed, I'm not thrilled about her decorating our home and picking out the colors for my bathroom and kitchen. I was upset, but didn't say anything, because I knew she was trying to be helpful. When I told my boyfriend how upset I was, he said, "She did the same thing for my brother when he moved into his place." Ann, his brother is single, and moved into a bachelor pad.

I don't want to hurt Janet's feelings, but I'd like to rip down that ugly shower curtain, throw out those silly pictures, and decorate my own place. P.S.: I have plenty of "help" from my own mother. Please advise.

Rather Be Spartan in Calif.

Cool it, Buttercup. You can live with the ugly shower curtain and those silly pictures for a couple of months, then, replace them with something more to your liking. It will help your relationship with your boyfriend if you get along with Janet. Make every effort to do so. And be tolerant of your mother, too. I'd say you have high-class worries -- two women who are interested in your welfare. In quieter moments, please remember they will not be around forever, and they both deserve your respect.

(C) 1999, Creators Syndicate Inc.