Dear Ann:

My fiance, "Wayne," is 22 and lives at home with his parents. He works full time and attends college at night.

Wayne's mother constantly reminds him that her house is "not a hotel" and that he spends way too much time with me. When Wayne and I are out for the evening, he is expected to call her and check in. Sunday is "family day," and his mother demands that he stay home with her or that she be included in whatever we may have planned.

I know Wayne cannot change his mother, but it bothers me that he seems intimidated by her. He believes that asserting himself or disagreeing with her is disrespectful. Although he complains about his mother and her domineering ways, if I suggest that perhaps his mother has too much control over his life, he becomes annoyed with me.

Wayne and I plan to be married in the next two years. I want to know if this is a normal mother-son relationship, or if I should expect problems in the future. I need your thinking on this.

Future Daughter-in-Law

If you marry Wayne, be prepared to be part of a gleesome threesome for a lifetime. All the signs are there. Any 22-year-old man who has to call his mother during the evening when he is out with a girlfriend has a "Mama's Boy" stamped on his forehead. If you have a hat, Dearie, grab it and run.

Dear Ann:

I am an 80-year-old widow in love with an 80-year-old widower. I'm sure some of your younger readers will find this incredible, but it's true. Eighty-year-olds can be in love. "Herman" and I have been dating for six years, and we enjoy our time together immensely. We both had long-term first marriages and know what happiness is. Herman is a pleasant and interesting companion, and we rarely have disagreements. We have gone on several trips together, and are compatible in every way. Our children are happy for us and have been very supportive.

However, we have one obstacle, Ann: his sister, "Selma." She is so jealous of me that Herman cannot even mention my name in her presence. We have to sneak around so she doesn't know we are together. I have never said a negative word about Selma. I would like to ask this woman what her problem is, and get things out in the open. Would it be wise for me to do that?

Needing Guidance in Michigan

No. You already KNOW what her problem is: She is resentful of your brother's life, and wishes you would get lost. She would love to have Herman all to herself.

Steer clear of Selma whenever possible, and make no negative comments about her to Herman. Be as sweet as pie to the woman, and keep planning those wonderful trips with Herman. Keep your focus on HIM, and forget about HER.

Dear Readers:

Are you ready for another "stupid crooks" story? This one has a bit of a religious flavor.

It seems a police officer was tipped off and went to a Catholic church in San Diego to investigate. There he found a man unconscious and sprawled out on the altar. Beside him was his loot. The man had gained entrance by breaking a stained-glass window. He had stuffed a silver chalice and other pieces into his duffel bag, and when he spotted the wine, the temptation was too much for him. He drank the entire bottle and passed out.

The moral of this story is: If you are going to rob churches, you shouldn't drink the wine intended for the religious service.