Dear Ann :

I think you've been out in the sun too long. "Nameless, Faceless and Placeless" discovered that her fiance, Jeremy, was online, pretending to be unattached, and looking to meet women. She planned to trap him by pretending she was one of those mystery females. Now he wants to meet her. She asked for your advice, because she said she loves the guy and doesn't want to lose him. You told her to stop playing games.

Annie, this guy is a loser, and you should have told her to dump him. She has been living with him for more than a year, and they are engaged to be married. He is no immature child. He is in his forties, and so is she. Why is this jerk looking in the online personals to meet other women? Furthermore, she must have suspected he was not entirely faithful, which is why she resorted to duplicity to find out exactly what he was up to.

You should have told her to get rid of the creep. The wedding ring on his finger will not keep him from straying. Better she should know NOW what kind of guy she is involved with, than marry him, and then, find out he's a skirt-chaser. Please, Ann, reconsider your advice.

No Mystery in Centereach, N.Y.

Of course, you are right. My "duh" response was less than helpful. A betrothed male who is still surfing the Internet looking for women needs to be evaluated more carefully. Thanks for cleaning up after me.

Dear Ann:

The season of frantic gift-buying is upon us. May I offer some gift ideas?

My husband and I are in our late sixties, and have lived in the same house for over 40 years. At this stage of our lives, we are trying to downsize and simplify. Please don't give us things that need dusting, storing or hanging, no matter how cute you think they are. If you know us well enough to give us a gift, you ought to know our preferences, hobbies and health needs. Here are a few ideas:

Please give us some homemade rolls or cookies; batteries for our smoke detectors, flashlights or hearing aids; a certificate promising lawn care, gutter cleaning or dinner at your home; a contribution to our favorite charity; a gift certificate to a restaurant, play, concert or sporting event; postage stamps; a phone card for our long-distance calls; film for our camera; golf tees, drill bits, yarn, bird seed, garden gloves, fancy paper napkins or cut flowers (no potted plants, please).

From our youngest grandchildren, we would love a blank scrapbook for his artwork, some chocolate chips or walnuts to put in her favorite cookies, flower bulbs we can plant together in the spring, or school photos for our wallets. Ask us to teach you to sew or fly a kite. We would love any of the above.

Our closets and dressers are jammed, but you may have noticed that my socks are getting thin and the dish towels need replacing. Maybe you have discovered a super gunk remover or a sponge that lasts longer than two weeks. Please, dear ones, do not add to our collection of gadgets and whatchamacallits. On the other hand, if a child or grandchild hopes to inherit one of our gadgets or whatchamacallits, please let us know. It would give us great pleasure to give it to him or her now.

Please--NO MORE STUFF. We will thank you from the bottom of our hearts for any gift, of course, but you really don't need to give anything but yourselves.

JoAnne in Michigan

I could not have said it better. Thank you.

Gem of the Day (Credit Arthur Godfrey): I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.

To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.