The party's over. The world didn't end.

Now, what in tarnation do we do with 730 cans of Spam?

We checked with a few dear friends, who suggested:

* Fry it over the 730 cans of Sterno you also stashed away, then enjoy it under the flickering light provided by the $450 Y2K generator you will probably never use again, while reading the 730 romance novels you had hoped would keep your mind off the Apocalypse but now wish you had never bought.

* Feed it to the cats.

* Feed it to the kids.

* Hold a Millennium Yard Sale.

* Put it to use in the garden to feed the carnivorous plants.

* Mail it to one of those anal-retentive scientists who insist that the millennium starts next Jan. 1.

* Open the cans, ditch the "meat," and use them as cookie cutters.

* Open the cans, ditch the "meat," and build houses out of them, as the Vietnamese did during the American War.

* Just for a moment, get real. Realize there are hungry people in the world to whom Spam, or any of that food you stocked up on, is no joke. Take a minute out of your busy schedule to start the next thousand years right; make a phone call.