Dear Ann:

I have been having an ongoing argument with my wife, and I am hoping you will print this in the paper. I really need your help.

"Sally" gets relief from using a heating pad on her aching back. The problem is, she insists on leaving the heating pad plugged in and turned on, whether she is using it or not. On more than one occasion, I have awakened at night to find the heating pad still turned on after Sally has fallen asleep. The last time this happened, I unplugged the pad and put it on the floor. When she woke up the next morning and discovered what I had done, she became furious, and accused me of being "controlling."

I found some information on the Internet about electrical safety and showed it to her, but she still doesn't believe it. Ann, is it dangerous to leave a heating pad on all night? I don't want to fight with my wife, but I don't want to die in a fire, either. Should I grit my teeth and ignore the danger, or keep unplugging the pad after she falls asleep, and let her yell at me in the morning?

Walt in Virginia

It can be extremely dangerous to leave any electrical appliance on all night. The appliance should be turned off and unplugged. Show this column to Sally. Maybe she will quit yelling at you after she sees this in the paper.

Dear Ann:

I read the letter from the woman who questioned her husband's fidelity because he liked to run errands without the kids. You thought she was unduly suspicious. That may be true in some cases, Ann, but most women should trust their intuition, especially when there are other clues.

The same thing happened to me 11 years ago. Short trips to the grocery store began to take two or three hours. He often told me he was working overtime, and when I called his place of employment, he was never there. Usually a slob, my husband began taking a sudden interest in his appearance, and bought a bottle of highly scented after-shave.

I hid my head in the sand, thinking whatever was going on would pass. Shortly after I became pregnant with our third child, he admitted he was seeing another woman, and planning to live with her and support her six kids. His disappearance from our lives caused lasting damage to our children.

Ann, when a woman notices things like long walks and unexplained absences, she has the right to suspect her husband is up to no good. The consequences of philandering can be devastating, and we women must keep our eyes open, and protect ourselves and our children.

Never Blind Again in Utah

I agree there were sufficient clues to warrant suspicion. You were a little slow on the uptake, Sister. I hope you insisted on support. He has already gotten away with plenty.

Dear Ann:

I've been working in this small office for over a year. Since the day I started, a man (who shall be unnamed) always uses the women's washroom. It was never a problem, until recently, when he walked in on me for the third time. It was extremely embarrassing. He did not seem a bit upset by the intrusion, and never even said, "Excuse me."

We have since purchased new locks for the door, but using that washroom always makes me nervous. I don't know why a man would want to use the ladies' washroom in the first place. Does the lady with all the answers have an answer to this one?Somewhere in the United States

The most logical reason I can come up with for a man using the ladies' washroom is that it is closer than the men's, and when there is an urgent need, the restroom nearest is the one of choice.

To find out more about Ann Landers and read her past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at, Creators Syndicate Inc.