I am a Hispanic male. Most of my extended family lives in Mexico. My parents and some aunts, uncles and cousins live near me in East Texas.
My girlfriend, "Cyndi," and I have been dating for three years. She recently decided to move to San Antonio to be closer to her parents -- and to "find herself."
Cyndi has met my parents several times and told me she intended to learn Spanish so she could better communicate with them. (They speak little English.) I was delighted because when we visit my family in Mexico, Cyndi would not feel left out of our conversations.
Cyndi and I spoke over the weekend. She told me she had signed up for language classes. When I called her last night, she informed me that she's taking German.
Then she gave me a lecture about how my family needs to learn English because they live in America. (They try hard.) Then I asked her how she intends to communicate with my family in Mexico. She ignored the question.
Abby, Cyndi and I have split up several times over the past three years. We always seem to find something to argue about. Now this. What do you think about this, and what should I do?
Ernesto in East Texas
Face it. Cyndi has no interest in communicating with your family. She's moved on.
Tell her adios or auf Wiedersehen -- whichever comes first.
I am a 20-year-old college student. I have been dating a wonderful man I'll call Cyrus for two years. He is sweet, good to me, and I am deeply in love with him.
Cyrus has seizures that prevent him from driving a car or working full time. He lives with his mother and stepfather and receives a monthly disability check from the state.
When I tell people about my relationship with Cyrus, the first thing out of their mouths is, "What does he do for a living?" When I explain the situation, some of them turn up their noses and say, "Well, that doesn't sound like a very good excuse."
Abby, I want to marry Cyrus someday. However, these comments have made me wonder if he is the right person for me. I am not a spoiled or snobbish person who will marry only for money.
Should I ask Cyrus to consider finding a part-time job? Should I tell everyone to mind their own business? What should I do?
Willing in Wheeling, W.Va.
Make it your business to research all the information you can about your boyfriend's condition and how it may impact your future -- emotionally and financially.
Love can conquer all; however, it's best to fully understand what to expect before making a lifetime commitment.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.
(c)2002, Universal Press Syndicate