CBS will not be showing its viewers the real fun that erupted at the Victoria's Secret fashion show when it telecasts the skivvies special at 8 Wednesday night.
Activists from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals stormed the runway at the undies extravaganza, which took place in New York City late last week.
The animal-friendly protesters jumped onto the stage and brandished signs that read "Gisele: Fur Scum" just as model Gisele Bundchen strutted down the runway. She sported beaded bra and panties, thigh-high black fishnet stockings and red stilettos for the amusement of Donald Trump, Tina Brown, Ahmad Rashad, Woody Harrelson, Lenny Kravitz and the rest of the thong-viewing throng packed into the Upper East Side's Lexington Avenue Armory.
A bunch of beefy security guards removed the protesters and the lights went down. When they came back up, Bundchen repeated her runway romp for CBS's cameras so that, through the miracle of taped TV, Gisele's Really Big Adventure with PETA never happened. According to the Associated Press, the audience wildly applauded Bundchen's encore.
"The PETA interruption will not be part of the telecast," said a CBS spokesman.
Thank goodness for the cable news networks, which telecast the naked truth about what took place -- over and over and over on Friday.
PETA told the Associated Press that it has it in for Bundchen since she signed a contract to model pelts for Blackglama furs -- you know, the ones in those "What Becomes a Legend Most?" ads.
Three of the protesters were given summonses for disorderly conduct, a New York Police Department rep told the AP.
WB suits were mulling over the weekend how to pluck "Birds of Prey" off their schedule, after just six broadcasts.
The drama series about Batgirl, Catgirl and Blondegirl, which is based very loosely on the DC Comics, debuted on Oct. 8 with 7.5 million viewers. But WB didn't care about that. It cared that 13 percent of all the 12-to-34-year-olds who had their TVs turned on at 9 p.m. that Wednesday were watching the "Prey" chicks.
By its most recent broadcast, on Nov. 13, "Birds of Prey" had fallen to 4 million viewers and only 6 percent of the TV-viewing 12-to-34-year olds tuned in.
A WB spokesman said late last week that the network had nothing to announce with regard to the show's fate.
At long last we have an answer to a nagging question. Mary Jo Buttafuoco will be on WRC's syndicated "The John Walsh Show" today to reveal that it was she who forced Fox to cancel Amy Fisher's appearance on its "Celebrity Boxing" special back in March.
Buttafuoco was shot in the face at her front door in May 1992 by then-17-year-old Fisher, who allegedly had been having an affair with Buttafuoco's husband, Joey.
On today's taped broadcast, Mary Jo says that when she heard Fisher was going to duke it out with fellow bad girl Tonya Harding on the Fox prime-time stunt, she "flipped out" and called the parole board to say, "This is a person who shot me in the head. . . . I can make a big public stink or you can make this go away quietly."
Minus Fisher, Fox quickly booked Clinton pal Paula "Arkansas Pounder" Jones, who got pounded by Harding.
The Learning Channel, home of "Trading Spaces," has ordered 10 episodes of "What Not to Wear," in which a team of stylists overhaul the wardrobe of some lucky person. The show will be previewed on Jan. 18 and join TLC's lineup in March. BBC America will begin to air the original British version starting Dec. 10. BBC America is a joint venture of BBC and Discovery, which owns TLC.
"Abby," a sitcom about a San Francisco couple who break up but continue to share their rent-controlled apartment, is taking over UPN's Tuesday 9 p.m. half-hour on Jan. 7. The time slot had been home to "Haunted," which UPN canceled before the start of the November sweeps.