Appearing on BET with Ed Gordon Monday night was a smooth touch for Trent Lott, but I can't help thinking the senator has got to do just a tad more to convince America he's not nostalgic for the bad old days of segregation. If he really wants to reveal his heart after the Strom Thurmond unpleasantness, he's got to show more than contrition. He's got to show flava.
His handlers may not be up to speed on how best to mount a flavaful campaign, so I have a few humble suggestions. Senator, handle your business:
* Call Lil' Kim and see if she can't braid you up, Allen Iverson-style, on the steps of the Capitol.
* With a couple of scandalous young'uns on each arm, announce that you want to bring the FreakNik back to Atlanta.
* Tell Toni Morrison you're way blacker than Bill Clinton.
* Occasionally sign e-mail using the MC name Lottsa Rhymes.
* Next Million Man March, offer to host the after-party.
* Insist on introducing J.C. Watts as the Original Hebrew Asiatic Black Man.
* Announce you're changing your "slave name" to Maulana Karenga Lott Mohammed.
* Take your best speeches and make a dope remix.
* Make Fidel let you speak to Tupac Shakur.
* Order Ward Connerly a couple of rib-tip sandwiches from Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles in L.A. Tell him to stop frontin'.
* Write a filibuster rap, but keep it real.
* Unlock the key to the "Soul Train" scramble board.
Senator, remember: Shizzay to the hizzo. Peace.