Two thousand two has "traded spaces" with 2003: Open your eyes, everyone, and look at what Hildi did to your room! (Is it safe now to declare zero tolerance for any new redecorating shows?)

Some quick New Year's notes on Doing It Yourself: It's easier to just pretend you're on the Atkins diet. Make it up as you go along. After "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," it's time for my big fat Greek kids. Improvise, adapt, put your thang down, flip it and reverse it! Can't write a screenplay based on what happened? Invent it, sweetie, write yourself in as a character. Enough reality, enough war, enough Elimidating. Fake is in, only we call it faux, unless it's an earnings statement, in which case please report the core earnings, Mr. (and Ms.) CEO.

Other leading indicators: Goodwill all those pairs of dirrrty jeans with tha whiskas, ladies. Nix the Tintin haircuts once and for all, guys (especially you gay fellers), and think shaggy and sloppy, a{grv} la Jake Gyllenhaal and Conor Oberst. (A veritable zit-geist!) All other matters we refer to the BBC's bitch-goddesses of the moment: Susannah and Trinny of "What Not to Wear." Pyongyang plutonium has us contemplating doomsday (still hot), but until then, keep this one thing in mind: Karl Rove -- perennially in.