JUST MARRIED (PG-13, 90 minutes)
As you know, the competition for Ten Worst Films of the Year is always fiercely fought. And this romantic comedy, starring Ashton Kutcher (one half of the legendary duo in "Dude, Where's My Car?") and Brittany Murphy, has set an impressively awful standard -- even for teen comedies. Kutcher is Tom Leezak, a 20-something kid with a sort of radio deejay job who marries Sarah McNerney (Murphy), much to the chagrin of her hoity-toity WASP family (the usual family to oppose marriages in this type of comedy). The movie is about the couple's disastrous -- excuse me, hilariously disastrous -- honeymoon in Europe, which includes being stuck with a ridiculously small rental car, inadvertently blowing the electrical system in their idyllic castle-hotel, and then having a supreme battle in Venice over Tom's rival for Sarah's heart, an arrogant jock (Christian Kane) with family connections. (Special points for the startling originality of that last character). There's not much to tell you to expect, yes, it's as bad as it looks. Murphy and Kutcher have some talent for sitcom-like situations, but in this moribund project, what does it matter? Speaking of ridiculous rentals, don't even consider this when it hits the Blockbuster shelves of shame. Contains sexual content, some crude humor and a brief drug reference. Area theaters.
-- Desson Howe