Everything You Wanted to Know About Saddam, But Were Afraid to Ask

Unlike Iraq under Saddam Hussein, the United States is the land of opportunity -- where anybody with a bit of imagination and enterprise can rise to fame and fortune. This truth was never clearer to us than yesterday, when a publicist for Coral Springs, Fla., sex therapist Amy Demner -- and then Dr. Amy herself -- called to offer an insightful analysis of the dictator's sex life.

"Since Saddam did not receive love from his parents, the only source of love he had was self-love," Demner e-mailed yesterday, between sweeps-month television appearances to tout something she calls the "Love Code." "This narcissism plays out in his marriage. He had his wife dress like him by wearing the same fabrics and matching jewelry -- almost a mirror image of himself. . . .

"Hussein's Love Code was imprinted with information that women are not to be trusted. His disregard for his wife, Sajida, was quite evident as seen by his public appearances with his mistress, Samira, which was filled with humiliation. In ... the sexual arena, one could look at his tremendous need for control. Whether it is by intimidation, weapons, torture, threats, this man does not want to give it up. In order to really connect with another sexually, there is a surrendering of controls that requires the ability to be vulnerable with another."

Dr. Amy told us Hussein seems to have a penchant for onanism that is all of a piece with the profile of a homicidal, power-mad psychopath who still suffers the psychic damage of being rejected by his mother. When we shared Dr. Amy's theories with the U.S. intelligence community yesterday an official said: "What she has discovered is what every Iraqi already knows: Saddam is narcissistic and self-absorbed."

We asked Dr. Amy what sort of therapy might help Hussein achieve a more satisfying sex life and help him overcome his mania to murder and torture.

"I would try to heighten his sense of the fact that there's another person present -- with different kinds of touching the other person's skin, getting used to the smell, and other ways of promoting intimacy," she said. "But that would just be a Band-Aid. It would be critical for him to seriously explore the early childhood stuff. Then he could make love, not war."

Next: The Love Code of President Bush?

Hitting Our Bull's-Eye

* Cause celeb Geena Davis took up archery at 41, but got so good that she competed in the 2000 Olympic trials.

"I love archery because your success is measurable -- in points -- and it's not up to anybody's opinion on how well you did. That's quite different from my day job," the 47-year-old actress told us yesterday as she headed to a Senate news conference urging President Bush not to weaken Title IX -- the 30-year-old law requiring educational institutions to offer their athletic programs equally to both sexes. "Hitting the bull's-eye is completely addictive," Davis went on. "It's impossible to hit it every time, but that's the addiction."

We asked Davis, a trustee for the Women's Sports Foundation, if her skills with the bow and arrow might be useful in the constant fray with slick Hollywood agents and fast-and-loose producers. "I'm afraid the bow and arrow is utterly useless as a weapon in this situation," she quipped. "It takes too long to set up, and they're too quick."

Speaking of armed conflict, Davis -- here with Alizeh Keshvar Davis Jarrahy, the 10-month-old daughter she shares with her third husband, Los Angeles surgeon Reza Jarrahy -- said the prospect of war with Iraq is "very troubling. I'm very worried about the idea that we would go to war without all of our friends supporting us."

THIS JUST IN...

* During a hearing yesterday of the Senate Commerce Committee -- which oversees the tobacco industry -- Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) put on quite a show with his "spit tobacco." Our spy told us: "Nobody saw him place the 'pinch' in his lower lip, but throughout the hearing he would pick up a styrofoam coffee cup, bring it to his lower lip and quickly spit -- the signature move of a snuffer! He seemed pretty adept at dealing with the stuff, speaking for a few minutes at a time without needing to spit. Fortunately, he did pick up the cup and take it with him when he left the hearing a little early. That's not the sort of thing that should be left for staffers to clean up." We agree.

* Keeping Up Standards: We applaud the Metropolitan Club, where book-party enthusiast Bob Schieffer held another soiree Tuesday night for his bestseller, "This Just In," a fete attended by Vice President Cheney, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), ABC News's Cokie Roberts, Finnish Ambassador Jukka Valtasaari and former CBS correspondent Bernard Kalb -- wearing a hideous orange tie with his turtleneck. "They made me wear it," Kalb was heard complaining. "I came in with my turtleneck and they said, 'Sir, sorry, but you have to wear a tie.' They offered me a shirt, too, but I passed."

* Some like it Hungarian: New York-born movie legend Tony Curtis is a self-proclaimed "proud Hungarian," but Tuesday night was the first time a Hungarian ambassador invited him to dinner. The credit goes to Andras and Nada Simonyi, who hosted a small dinner for Curtis and his wife Jill at the residence.