Last week CBS had the most watched reality show, the most watched comedy, the most watched drama and the most watched newsmagazine. Guess which network won the week.
Here's a look at the week's do's and don'ts:
"My Big Fat Greek Life." If reality programming has killed off the sitcom, how come CBS's Monday preview of "My Big Fat Greek Life" scored nearly 23 million viewers -- the biggest crowd for a sitcom debut on any network since 1998 -- opposite another episode of Fox's "Joe Millionaire"? The "Big Fat" debut finished in a virtual tie with "CSI" for the week's top spot.
"Joe Millionaire: Aftermath." Nearly 20 million viewers sat through this one-hour program in which absolutely nothing happened and virtually nothing was said. And yet the exercise in nothingness was the week's No. 1 ranked program among 18-to-49-year-olds.
Saddam Hussein. About 17 million people watched Dan Rather on "60 Minutes II" last Wednesday badger Saddam Hussein about his proposed TV debate with President Bush until Hussein finally took the hint and said Rather should moderate. That's about 6 million fewer than caught the first episode of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" but it's "60 II's" best performance ever.
Robert Blake. Though convicted "preppy murderer" Robert Chambers (interviewed on CBS's "48 Hours Investigates") had the advantage of a boffo Saddam Hussein lead-in, alleged wife-killer Robert Blake (on ABC's "20/20") blew Chambers away in the 10 p.m. slot on Wednesday with 12 million viewers to Chambers's 9 million.
"Profiles From the Front Line." Faced with the prospect of war and Code Orange terrorist alerts, viewers avoided like the plague the ABC docutainment series about U.S. Special Operations forces in Afghanistan, as reflected in its anemic audience of fewer than 6 million.
Bruce Springsteen. CBS, expecting the Boss to mop up at the Grammys, scheduled his concert special a few days later. Instead, he snagged only three Grammys and the concert attracted only 5.5 million viewers -- Friday's least watched program among the major broadcast networks.
"Baywatch Hawaiian Wedding." For all the hype, the "Baywatch" reunion flick only did a usual Fox Friday number. Naturally, however, it was the night's most watched program among 18-to-34-year-old men.
Lone Ranger. WB did its best to hip-up the Lone Ranger story for this backdoor pilot, then blew it by not calling it "The New Lone Ranger" or something along those lines. So nearly half its audience of 5.3 million, which is a very big WB Wednesday number, was 50 or older -- a toxic demo for the network that trades in 12-to-34-year-olds.
"Six Feet Under." The third-season debut of this acclaimed undertaker-family drama averaged about 5.1 million viewers Sunday -- not a horrible HBO number but about 1.2 million shy of its second-season debut.
"The Anna Nicole Show." The second-season debut of E!'s Anna Nicole Smith train wreck averaged 1.8 million viewers. That's fewer than half the number of rubberneckers who watched her first-season debut. Sunday's opener did, however, outstrip the season debut of "Queer as Folk," which averaged 1.2 million people in the same 10 p.m. time slot on Showtime. To be fair, Showtime is not available in as many homes as is E!
The week's 10 most watched programs, in order: CBS's "CSI" and "My Big Fat Greek Life" premiere, "Survivor: Amazon" and "Everybody Loves Raymond"; Fox's Tuesday "American Idol"; NBC's "Law & Order"; Fox's "Joe Millionaire: Aftermath"; CBS's "CSI: Miami" and "Without a Trace"; and NBC's "Friends."