From the very beginning, The Style Invitational has scoured the planet for only the finest of garbage to award to its first-prize winners. These have included:

Lace panties that play "You Are My Sunshine"; size 72 men's white briefs; Vietnamese Snake Wine containing an actual four- foot-long snake; kangaroo jerky; an antique 1911 wooden rat trap; "smorked beef rectum," a fine vacuum-packed lunch meat from Japan; "Love Ewe," an inflatable sheep; a genuine (unused) colonoscopy swab; a Marilyn Monroe wall clock with swinging-hip pendulum; a peck of pickled peppers; a set of barf bags imprinted with copy from romance novels; a big gob of owl puke guaranteed to contain mouse or insect bones; a three-piece mariachi band made from taxidermized frogs; an oral surgeon's demonstration model of the human mouth, complete with gingivitis, a malignant tongue tumor and various oozing lesions;

a can of fish anuses; and a costume of a nine-foot-tall, mammoth- breasted, hippo-hipped woman with billowing skirts worn in a performance of Rabelais' "Gargantua" that can be worn only while standing on a ladder.

And The Czar's favorite of all time: A copy of the Sept. 20, 1995, issue of Playboy magazine, in Braille. Nope, no pictures.