I am a 17-year-old girl. About a month ago, I met a wonderful guy, "Adam," who treats me like a queen. He's 18. My parents like him and so do all my friends. Adam is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. He is a singer in a local band and all the girls are crazy for him. I am amazed that he wants to be with someone like me.
Lately, Adam has been talking about marriage and hinting that it's me he wants to marry. I told him I'd think about it -- but the more I do, the more confused I get. I really like him, but I'm not sure I want to be married right out of high school. I only have a few months until I turn 18 and graduate -- then I have to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. The thought is overwhelming. Can you help me?
Turbulent Teen in Wyoming
Follow your instincts. You appear to be an intelligent young lady with a lot to offer. I see no reason to rush to the altar. Adam may be a terrific young man with a great future, but do not allow yourself to be talked into anything. Get more training and education. Marry no one until you are self-supporting.
I am a healthy and attractive 68-year-old widow. For a month last summer, I dated a wonderful 65-year- old man. In that short time, I fell in love with him, but he went back to another woman he had dated before me.
My heart has been broken ever since. I have not been able to get this man off my mind. We attend a number of the same social functions in town, and each time I see him, it destroys me. There are very few single men my age, so finding a new companion is not an easy task. I am a busy, productive lady, but I carry my thoughts everywhere I go. It feels like an obsession. Never in all my life have I felt like this. I cannot continue in this state of mind. Please help.
One-Track Mind Somewhere in Wisconsin
You have my sympathy. You may need professional counseling to get beyond this, and I hope you'll waste no time in getting it. It would also be helpful if you found (at least temporarily) other social activities where you can meet new people and not be haunted by last summer's romance.
You recently printed many telltale signs of a cheating spouse. What are the signs that someone likes you? My friends tell me this guy at work has a crush on me. How can they see it, and I cannot?
Wondering in Montana
Because the signs can vary. Some to consider:
(1) The person "lights up" and usually seems to have a lot to say to you.
(2) The reverse can also be true. The person becomes tongue-tied in your presence.
(3) The person makes a point of being complimentary.
(4) The person makes excuses to see you, call you, e-mail you.
Readers, would you care to add to this list?
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.
(c)2003, Universal Press Syndicate