Celine Dion can't catch a bullet with her teeth like Penn & Teller, she doesn't wrangle white lions like Siegfried & Roy, and she'd never think about bopping around in her birthday suit like, well, half of Nevada. Despite such limitations, the French-Canadian songstress will no doubt be a huge hit in Las Vegas.

The chest-pounding diva recently started a three-year deal with Caesars Palace to perform some 600 shows, all gussied up by Cirque du Soleil visionary Franco Dragone. Just like Sin City, Dion is lousy at doing subtle.

The show -- called "A New Day . . ." -- features 40-plus dancers, a 150-foot video screen and a flying diva. To coincide with the launch of her Vegas spectacular, Dion is releasing "One Heart," 14 slickly produced adult-pop tracks that, depending on whether you love her or hate her, are just as good or bad as anything else she's done.

Say what you will about Dion -- and after hearing "My Heart Will Go On" 40,000 times, some people have said pretty nasty stuff -- but the woman has managed to sell more than 150 million albums worldwide. The reason for this, as evidenced on "One Heart," is the superstar's reliability.

Over the course of a handful of albums, she's rarely faltered in providing her loyal fans the same assortment of shamelessly over-emoted treats: string-dripped love songs of Meat Loafian proportions, run-of-the-mill dance tracks with standard synthetic beats perfect for vacuuming, and that whopper of an ever-crescendoing voice. (She's got a lot of lung-busters here, too, including "In His Touch" and "Stand by Your Side".)

It's hard to listen to "One Heart" -- penned by more than 20 songwriters -- without imagining how select tracks could play out at Caesars massive Colosseum. The album's opener, "I Drove All Night," currently soundtracking various Chrysler commercials, chugs along at a breakneck disco clip -- perfect, say, for a wailing Dion to drive a souped-up LeBaron onstage.

Destined-for-hitdom "Faith" is one of the best songs of Dion's career, a mid-tempo hook parade that proves Dion is most effective when she keeps her power pipes from bursting all over the place. The track is about the salvaging of a troubled marriage, but that shouldn't stop Dion from inviting people of all races, religions and tax brackets onstage for the uplift. Bouncy life-affirmer "One Heart" ("Everybody needs something to hold on to") will surely feature video montages of her new child. And as far as the rock-edged "Naked" is concerned, the suddenly sassy singer should just bust out a chorus line of beefcake and have the guys carry her around the joint like Cleopatra.

Of course, for the ballad "Have You Ever Been in Love," Dion should begin the song standing in a single spotlight. But when the guitars and drums kick in, the singer -- delivering lines like "Have you ever walked on air? Ever felt like you were dreaming?" -- can pound her chest and, voila{grv}, a 100-piece orchestra will appear.

Throw in the bullet-catching trick, and I just might buy a ticket myself.

(To hear a free Sound Bite from this album, call Post-Haste at 202-334-9000 and press 8162.)

Celine Dion's new album, "One Heart," is full of songs that'll transfer easily from CD to the stage for her new Vegas act.