Meanwhile, back on the home front . . .

Where have all the jobs gone?

Gone, gone, far away.

The domestic job market gets worse and worse. Gerald Grimsaw came home the other night and told his wife, Anna, "I just lost my job."

Anna said: "Oh, heavens. You've been with the company for 23 years. Who got your job?"

"Fang Shu Wo in Shanghai. The Happy Greeting Card Company is sending all its work abroad and closing the factory."

"How do you know the name of the man in Shanghai?"

"Mr. Albutton, VP in charge of birthday cards, told me. He said he had just been in Shanghai to meet with the president of Morning Glory Greeting Card Manufacturers, who spoke perfect English. Fang told him he could print our cards for a quarter of the price and throw in the envelopes for free.

"I argued with Albutton that Fang might know about birthdays, but he doesn't know the American mind when it comes to condolence and Mother's Day messages.

"Albutton said Fang told him that he makes Christmas cards, graduation cards and bar mitzvah cards for Pakistan."

Anna cried: "The Happy Greeting Card Company is losing its main brain. You were the greatest. I'll never forget the cards you made for April Fool's Day. It was your idea to introduce a new line of get-well cards: When you opened one up, there was a semi-clothed nurse, and when you squeezed her she winked at you."

Grimsaw sighed, "How soon they forget."

Anna said, "Surely with your reputation as an idea man you can get another job."

"The Stars and Stripes Greeting Card people are moving their headquarters to Malaysia. The God Bless America Company is opening up a factory in Cambodia, and the Mimsy Lindner Buy America Company is sending all its cards to Kabul."

Anna said: "Why don't we write to President Bush and tell him what is going on with the economy? I'm sure if he knew, he would do something about it."

Gerald said, "I could send him a card."

You're the kind of president who lights up a room

But you have a job, and I don't.

Anna said, "How about one of those inspirational cards you are so good at?"

You won the war -- now win the peace

And don't worry about me --

I can always get unemployment insurance.

Gerald said, "How about this?"

If I had a job, I could enjoy my tax cut.

Anna chimed in, "What about a Father's Day card?"

Roses are red

Violets are blue

So is your budget

What else is new?

(c)2003, Tribune Media Services