Now, About Those Legs . . .

People can't help but notice actress Lindsay Lohan's voluptuous bust -- the size of which has been wildly speculated upon in the pages of Us Weekly and by Lohan herself in a spoof on "Saturday Night Live" -- but the 17-year-old star of the hit flick "Mean Girls" denies any surgical enhancement.

"It's retarded," Lohan, who clearly doesn't believe in being politically correct, told People magazine. "My mother would never let me. I'm deathly afraid and it's unnecessary." But that doesn't mean the buxom, wild partier doesn't appreciate all the attention -- so keep it up, fellas. "I'm glad people think I have a nice chest," she confessed.

Townsend's 'Major' Challenge

Boxing champ Evander Holyfield, retired baseball slugger Cecil Fielder and millionaire trial lawyer Willie Gary were all on hand at the National Press Club yesterday to welcome comedian Robert ("Hollywood Shuffle") Townsend as the new president of productions for the Major Broadcasting Cable network, reports The Post's Hamil Harris.

Members of the Congressional Black Caucus also showed up to give a boost to MBC, which hopes to join the ranks of urban-oriented outlets such as BET and TV One.

Never mind that MBC doesn't have a major corporate partner like BET's Viacom or TV One's Comcast, or that folks in these parts have to jump through hoops to access the network. Easier times are coming, promises Gary. "I can't tell you how we're going to get there, but just listen and watch my friend and my new partner Robert 'The Man' Townsend," Gary says.

Townsend, the star and writer of "Hollywood Shuffle," the brilliant 1987 sendup of racial typecasting in the movies, added: "There's enough for everybody. We're on a serious mission."

Blairs Mourn Their Late Son

Private services were held in Lake Forest, Ill., on Wednesday for Billy Blair, the 42-year-old son of socialites Deeda and William McCormick Blair Jr. who committed suicide Saturday morning.

"He was a wonderful son," William Blair told us yesterday. "He was bipolar, struggled for years with this terrible disease and in the end was unable to surmount it."

The Blairs are establishing a memorial fund in their son's name -- he had his own dog-walking business in Georgetown -- with the Washington Humane Society. A gathering at Third Edition is said to be in the works by his friends and loved ones, though no date has been set.

Noted . . .

WPFW 89.3 FM "Bama Hour" host and legendary bluesman Nap Turner has missed the last three of his Saturday morning shows, but he hopes to come back to the mike soon. WPFW interim General Manager Ron Pinchback told The Post's Natalie Hopkinson that Turner is ill and that, according to his wife, Gloria Turner, he hopes to regain enough strength to return to the air Saturday. . . . And after eight years of begging and pleading (or perhaps just politely asking), Fox News Sunday finally has secured an interview with the junior senator from New York, Hillary Rodham Clinton, airing this weekend. So really, what in the world took so long? Clinton spokesman Philippe Reines made no apologies: "Let's keep things in perspective here. Halley's Comet only comes around every 76 years. Cicadas only come out of the ground every 17. So in the grand scheme of things, Fox News Sunday waiting eight years really ain't so bad."

. . . and Quoted

"The only thing we need to discuss is, you know, when she's ready to baby-sit."

-- Shar Jackson, the pregnant ex-girlfriend of Britney Spears's current flavor of the month, backup dancer Kevin Federline, telling "Extra" that she has very little to say to the pop princess.

-- Compiled by Anne Schroeder

from staff and wire reports

That's my bosom, buddy, says starlet Lindsay Lohan, left, who denies she's had any surgical help. Robert Townsend, of "Hollywood Shuffle" fame, is the president of productions for a new cable network.