Bush's Gaffe Tracks

The always-reliable Internet frequently belches forth fabricated quotes attributed to President Bush -- the latest e-mailed hoax has our fearless leader saying "feces" instead of "fetus" -- but we're here to set the record straight. If you want to hear choice, authentic Bushisms, set to music no less, check out a CD just released by a Texas group that calls itself the George W. Bush Singers. Where else are you going to find the president's ode to Condi Rice, titled "She's an Unsticker"?

The CD features soundbites of Bush as he invents words (including "ingrinable" and the ever-popular "nucular") and mangles sentences ("I ask Americans to give 4,000 years -- 4,000 hours -- over the next -- for the rest of your life -- of service to America. That's what I ask"). The 15-member choir sings his verbatim quotes in a swingy style that evokes vocal ensembles of the 1960s. (Like the Anita Kerr Singers, who in 1966 beat the Beatles to claim the best pop vocal group Grammy for "We Dig Mancini.")

"The goal is to have fun and to laugh," choir director Steve McAllister, who hatched the project, told us. "It's pretty gentle poking fun." He denied having a political agenda but refused to identify his day job: "Let's say I work in the high-tech field. One of the main guys in the company is a personal friend of the president, and I would rather not get on anybody's bad side."

The George W. Bush singers and musicians hail from the liberal university enclave of Austin. "I think this is something the Democrats would laugh louder at than the Republicans," McAllister admits, "but I think Republicans can laugh, too." (After all, in March 2001, Bush himself noted: "I've coined new words, like misunderstanding and Hispanically.")

A 35-year-old bassist, McAllister said he was inspired by an obscure album of John F. Kennedy's words set to music. "They sang snippets of his speeches. We blatantly ripped it off."

Available at music retailers and georgewbushsingers.com, "Songs in the Key of W" is suitable for all ages but bears a warning: "Grammatical Advisory -- Exact Quotes."

On the Hill, Munch Ado About Nutrition

* They ate him up: Some 200 Hill staffers, vegans and other guests were hungry to hear from Morgan Spurlock at a reception and screening of his film "Super Size Me" on Thursday evening at the Library of Congress. The documentary director, who gained 20 pounds and nearly turned his liver to pate eating nothing but McDonald's food for a month, rubbed bony elbows with health-conscious politicians, including Rep. Brian Baird (D-Washington) and sinewy physicians, including Neal D. Barnard, president of the Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine.

Partygoers noshed on veggies and fruit, and Spurlock spoke against the so-called Cheeseburger Bill, passed by the House and awaiting action in the Senate as the Commonsense Consumption Act. The legislation is aimed at preventing consumers from suing food manufacturers, distributors and sellers for their contributions to the national obesity epidemic. "It's a big problem," he told The Post's Rebecca Dana. "No pun intended." (None taken.)

He also proudly announced that his vegan-chef girlfriend, Alex Jamieson, has secured a book contract and will publish -- what else? -- a diet book based on the regimen she created to help him recover from fast food.

Jackie Mason, Shticking It to Islam

* That's not funny: Guest-hosting on Jim Bohannon's nationally syndicated radio show in mid-July, comedian Jackie Mason went on a tear against Islam. "In plain English, the whole Muslim religion is preaching and teaching hate, terrorism and murder, and nobody knows it, and it's about time they found out about it," Mason said. "I don't know how we can call it a religion in the traditional sense. It should be called a murderous organization that's out to kill people."

The District-based Council on American-Islamic Relations, which obtained a tape of the show, fired off a letter Friday to Westwood One, the network that carries the program, demanding an apology for what it called Mason's bigoted, "hate-filled propaganda." Mason's guest that evening, New York lawyer Raoul Felder -- who co-authors pieces for Jewish World Review with the comic -- also called the prophet Muhammad a "pedophile." Mason couldn't be reached, but Felder said the remarks were based on the Koran and denied broad-brushing the religion: "One would have to be a moron to think that this applies to every single Muslim in the world. It doesn't, obviously." Citing the First Amendment, Felder said: "We have the right to say it and they have the right to curse us and say we're full of beans and to go on cursing Jews. . . . This is what talk radio is all about." So much for elevating the debate.

A Former Gore Backer, Giving the Prez a Boost

* Though Ronald Kessler's latest book, "A Matter of Character: Inside the White House of George W. Bush," won't be published until Aug. 9, the Bush-Cheney campaign has put it on its Web site's suggested reading list. "This is almost their campaign book. They are going to be pushing it," says the Potomac author, who confesses that he voted for Al Gore in 2000 but became a true believer in the prez while researching the bio. "I found there were so many myths about him and caricatures and foolishness."

An investigative reporter who has written extensively on the FBI and CIA, Kessler says penetrating the White House was even tougher. But the results clearly please the president's supporters: Karl Rove plans to attend Kessler's Aug. 5 book party, whose hosts include Collister "Terry" Johnson Jr., a close Bush pal who was his roommate at Yale.

With Anne Schroeder