When Octogenarians Go Bad

"Fox News Sunday" host Chris Wallace, son of suspected delinquent Mike Wallace -- who was arrested and cuffed earlier this week in New York City after a slight brouhaha involving two Taxi and Limousine Commission inspectors -- doesn't feel too sorry for his pop, who was slapped with a disorderly conduct charge. The commissioners claimed the "60 Minutes" star "lunged" at them, an assertion that Daddy Wallace has been having a lot of fun with this week, considering, as he repeatedly reminded anyone who would listen: He's an 86-year-old man who apparently has trouble lunging into bed, much less lunging at anyone. Who can argue that?

Anyway, the younger Wallace chuckled yesterday morning on "Fox & Friends" about Daddy's scuffle. "I think my father is enjoying it," Wallace said. "At the age of 86, the idea that he is a menace on the streets of New York and he has to be handcuffed and taken down to the precinct. He was feeling pretty macho when he talked to me the next morning."

A $17.20 Payday for Oprah

The American justice system has prevailed!

Sure, Oprah Winfrey's riches can buy her three homes and a media empire, but they can't get her out of the ever-dreaded jury duty. She's due to arrive in Cook County (Ill.) Criminal Court bright and early on Monday morning, along with 300 other potential jurors.

Before you ask, the answer is no siree, no special treatment will be given to the queen of daytime television, says Cook County sheriff's office spokeswoman Sally Daly. Oprah will, however, use a separate entrance, Daly added.

The best part? If the billionairess isn't chosen, she (and anyone else who isn't picked) gets a $17.20 check from the court. Yep, all in a hard day's work.

Noted . . .

Right after his MCI Center concert Thursday night, Prince cooled down for about two hours by hanging out at Ozio Martini and Cigar Lounge on M Street. Did he go crazy? Get nuts? Anything? Nope. The timeless rock star (aka "Sultan of Seduction") and his gang, including his wife, chilled out on the bar's fourth-floor VIP section and left around 1:20 a.m. "He drank juices and ordered food for everyone," Ozio manager Frank Vinueza told us yesterday. Clearly, for the singer of "Let's Go Crazy," this is an instance of do as I say -- sing? -- not as I do . . . Robert De Niro: He's a raging bull and a goodfella and a godfather and now he's to become an honorary citizen of Italy. However, given De Niro's many roles portraying, well, Italian thugs, this honor is drawing criticism from the Order of Sons of Italy in America, which says the actor "has done nothing to promote Italian culture in the United States." (Doesn't that just mean De Niro's a really good actor? Hmm.) The culture minister of Italy isn't swayed by the group, and still plans to grant De Niro the honor next month . . . In the middle of election madness, we couldn't pass up sharing this wisecrack from Thursday's "Tonight Show": "Florida bracing for Hurricane Charley. Hopefully it will just destroy the voting booths." Ah, that Jay Leno is such a kidder.

. . . and Quoted

"I'm not the greatest husband -- I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her, I wouldn't have a girlfriend."

-- laugh riot Andrew Dice Clay, confessing to the New York Daily News his extracurricular activities, which he hopes will morph into a reality television show.

-- Compiled by Anne Schroeder

from staff and wire reports

The Reliable Source will return on Tuesday.