Alice Cooper's Political Makeup
No more Mr. Nice Guy: Alice Cooper, a shock rocker back in the old days and now a fan of President Bush, says rock stars who've jumped on the John Kerry bandwagon -- Sheryl Crow, Dave Matthews, James Taylor and Bruce Springsteen among them -- are treasonous morons.
"To me, that's treason. I call it treason against rock-and-roll, because rock is the antithesis of politics. Rock should never be in bed with politics," the 56-year-old told the Canadian Press news service as he embarked last week on a 15-city Canadian tour.
Never one to avoid self-examination, Alice (aka Vincent Damon Furnier) added: "If you're listening to a rock star in order to get your information on who to vote for, you're a bigger moron than they are. Why are we rock stars? Because we're morons. We sleep all day, we play music at night and very rarely do we sit around reading the Washington Journal." (We think he meant watching C-SPAN's "Washington Journal," or maybe he meant perusing the Washington Post and the Wall Street Journal, but either way you get the idea.)
"Besides, when I read the list of people who are supporting Kerry, if I wasn't already a Bush supporter, I would have immediately switched. Linda Ronstadt? Don Henley? Geez, that's a good reason right there to vote for Bush."
Meanwhile, the GOP announced Monday that the country duo Brooks & Dunn will headline the entertainment at the Republicans' convention next week in New York. Other talent includes country singer Lee Ann Womack, Christian rock band Third Day and gospel vocalist Donnie McClurkin. Party on!
Another Kitty Kelley Book, Another Controversy
* Kitty Kelley's latest venture in provocative unauthorized biographies, "The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty," is tightly under wraps until its release next month, but her decision to schedule a Washington book-signing party to benefit a political wing of Planned Parenthood provides a whiff of controversy to come. Though Kelley won't comment, her reps are billing the Sept. 21 party as a "thank you" to President Bush's father and grandfather for their support of the organization in decades past.
"Members of the Bush families have been long-term supporters of comprehensive family planning and education and we appreciate their support, but most of all, we miss them," said Jatrice Martel Gaiter, who heads Planned Parenthood of Metropolitan Washington and its newly relaunched political action fund, which backs abortion rights. Gaiter wouldn't specify which Bushes she meant (we know it's not George W. or Laura), but according to press accounts, the late Sen. Prescott Bush, the current president's grandfather, was an early supporter of Planned Parenthood and so were George H.W. Bush and his wife, Barbara. In 1992, the first lady confirmed that she and the president contributed to Planned Parenthood "during our marriage," but the White House didn't specify a date except to say it was "many years ago."
Keillor Wants Franken as Prairie Home Senator
* Garrison Keillor is urging fellow author, radio host and Minnesotan Al Franken to take the plunge and prepare for a U.S. Senate bid (as a Democrat, natch). "Al ought to give up radio, which is awfully hard work for a TV guy like himself, and establish residence in Minneapolis, near where he grew up, and get himself a late-model car and drive around and see the state. It's a wonderful place and, doggone it, people would like him," Keillor said in an interview published Saturday on Salon.com. "I'll do some fundraisers for him myself."
The man from Lake Wobegon calls Franken "a natural on the stump -- he has a terrific grin that makes people feel good, unlike so many Midwestern liberals who are about as warm as a concrete block." Keillor, an ardent foe of current Republican Sen. Norm Coleman, rules out a race of his own. "Writing is the best way to spend what time is left to me," says the 62-year-old. "Sit at my dining room table and try to write what is given to me to write -- a comic novel, a sonnet, a Lake Wobegon story, a parody of the president, a limerick about a lady named Reba who cried out in rapture, 'Ich liebe,' a rhapsody to homegrown tomatoes." You betcha.
* Why we love Dubya's dog, Barney: He's a real party pooper. The lovable little Scottie left his own mark on President Bush's news conference yesterday in Crawford, Tex., when he appeared about 15 feet behind his master, squatted on the lawn and did his business. "This is perhaps why the president does not let him in the Oval Office," a witness in the press corps quipped.
* Let the healing begin: Domino's wants to sate the appetite of a polarized electorate with bipartisan pizza. Starting yesterday, any Democrat-Republican roommate pair will save $3 when ordering a pizza with "half one topping and half another topping" from 59 stores in the District, Maryland and Virginia, says franchise owner Frank Meeks. The campaign, which runs through Sept. 19, is aimed at students, but other households can make their case. As for Ralph Nader supporters, they'll have to order vegetarian toppings and hope for the best.
With Anne Schroeder