And So We Beat On

Poor Mia Farrow. Poor F. Scott Fitzgerald!

We don't know how to break this to you, so we'll just put it out there: Paris Hilton is going to star as Daisy Buchanan in a remake of "The Great Gatsby," which is being produced by 'N Syncer and near-astronaut Lance Bass. (Hey, he's gotta do something since Justin Timberlake has solidified that 'N Sync won't have a reunion anytime soon.)

Now some of you may wonder, as Fox News 411 columnist Roger Friedman did, whether the party-girl heiress has actually read Fitzgerald's classic. But really, Rog, it's the movies -- that doesn't matter. If all goes well, Chris Carmack from Fox's latest breakout series, "The O.C." (he's the third male lead), will play Jay Gatsby. And Jamie-Lynn DiScala of "The Sopranos" fame will be in it, too.

Suggested title, according to Friedman? "Jay G."

Spotted in D.C.

It's time for the celebs-around-town roundup: Everyone's favorite comedic insider -- and former Bethesdaite -- the very tall Mo Rocca, was spotted strolling out of Adams Morgan's ultra-modern bistro Leftbank with a group of pals Wednesday night. (Anticlimactic, we know. Apologies.) Then we have Bill Cosby, same night, landlocked as planes were delayed, caught snoozing away on a couch, shoes off, in the lobby of Piedmont Hawthorne Dulles Aviation. And we're told that songstress and environmentalist Carole King held her own yesterday at the studios of aging shoutmaster John McLaughlin during a taped interview airing this weekend. (No word on whether the earth moved.) Later on, she was to swing by Democratic moneyman Smith Bagley's Georgetown digs to perform for 100 donating fans of John Edwards, who, we're assured, "enjoys her music" and was to attend.

Noted . . .

Troubled ex-congressman Gary Condit has finally settled his $209 million libel suit against three tabs -- the National Enquirer, Star and Globe -- which wrote articles linking him to the disappearance of Chandra Levy. No details were released, though Condit is "satisfied with the settlement," his lawyer told the Modesto Bee . . . Journo Victor Lewis-Smith isn't taking any chances when it comes to Hollywood's Top Gun. (Really, who can blame him?) "If I stood next to Tom Cruise, my ruler suit would reveal him to be a feeble and delicate 5' 6" tall," he writes in the London Evening Standard, "but as the celebrity Scientologist is exceedingly litigious and wealthy, I shall describe him here as a red-blooded, heterosexual giant of a man" . . . And, it's sad but true, but we all knew the time was going to come for Pandela Anderson, Washington's popular and voluptuous art panda, to bid adieu. Well-wishers and fans are encouraged to stop by for one last farewell drink before she goes to auction in October -- no, we're not kidding, we even have the Evite to prove it -- tonight at the Dupont Circle eatery Sette.

. . . and Quoted

"She's not a legend. She's a beginner."

-- Lauren Bacall, 79, scoffing at a British TV interviewer who called fellow interviewee Nicole Kidman, 37, a "legend."

-- Compiled by Anne Schroeder

from staff and wire reports

Paris Hilton is to play Daisy Buchanan in a remake of "The Great Gatsby."