Dear Abby:

My son, "Will," is married with three beautiful children. One evening a few weeks ago, I baby-sat my grandchildren at their house. A strange car kept stopping in front of the house, and when I went to the window, it would drive off.

Will and his wife, "Eve," both work. He returned before she did, and I left. However, I was suspicious, so I drove up the street and parked in a dark area. A few minutes later, the car pulled up again, and my son ran out of the house and got into the car. I drove slowly by the car and saw my son and a strange woman talking.

Should I tell Eve what I saw? A few people have told me to butt out. I strongly suspect that he is having an affair with this woman. What should I do?

Worried Mom in Missouri

Talk to your son. Give him a chance to explain. Warn him about how much he has to lose if he is involved with another woman or doing something illegal. But do NOT carry tales to your daughter-in-law without first talking to your son -- if then.

Dear Abby:

My oldest daughter is being married. Her mother is my ex-wife. My daughter wants me and my new wife to attend the wedding. Her mother says she will not attend if my wife is there. I should point out that my wife and I will be helping out financially. Her mother will be helping out only minimally.

Is it appropriate for my new wife to attend with me? Is my former wife out of line in threatening to ruin the wedding by not showing up?

Father of the Bride in Arizona

If your current wife was the reason for your divorce, then your former wife's feelings are understandable. However, since your daughter has stated that she would like your new wife to attend, it is appropriate that she be there. One way you could solve this problem would be for you and your former wife to be seated as far apart as possible on this special day. I hope she will consider this compromise.

Dear Abby:

If a woman proposes to a man, who should buy the ring?

Deb in Knoxville

Call me old-fashioned, but if the man is a gentleman he should buy the ring. And if he refuses, the woman should enter into that marriage with her eyes wide open and no illusions about what her future will be.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.

(c)2004, Universal Press Syndicate