Dear Abby:

My daughter was dating an attorney I'll call Clarence. They supposedly split up a few months ago. Over the last few weeks, correspondence from a local car dealer addressed to Clarence has been sent to my house.

My daughter called me all flustered about a week after the first piece of mail was delivered and asked if "something in his name" had arrived. She then explained that Clarence had bought a car and had it titled to my address "because taxes would be cheaper."

Now I'm getting other mail in his name. Isn't this some sort of invasion of privacy, a form of harassment or fraud? I don't have a lot of respect for this guy. I'm not sure how to handle this situation, nor do I know how to stop what Clarence is doing.

Frustrated in Mentor, Ohio

What Clarence is doing is called fraud -- and you can stop it by simply writing, "Does not reside at this address" on the envelope and returning it to your postal worker. If that doesn't do the trick, notify the Postal Inspection Service.

Dear Abby:

Recently the adult children of some casual acquaintances sent us a letter informing us that their parents would be celebrating an anniversary soon. In it, they requested we send money so they could give their parents a two-week vacation.

The children explained that they couldn't afford to pay for the trip, but wanted to do something special for their parents. They intend to put the names of all the donors on a card with the tickets and mail it to their parents as a "surprise." I think we should ignore it. What do you think our response should be?

Anonymous in New Jersey

Do with it what you do with other unsolicited requests for donations.

Dear Abby:

What is the rule of etiquette concerning guest lists that include both friends and co-workers? Does one have to invite all co-workers to a private/ personal function, or can a select handful of co-workers be invited?

Needs Advice, Latham, N.Y.

Much depends upon the size of your office, how many co-workers you plan to ask, and what percentage will be excluded. If you invite only a few co-workers, it's important that you not offend the rest. This can be accomplished by keeping the invitation private, separate from work, and confidential.

However, if you plan to invite the majority and exclude only a few, there are bound to be hurt feelings and you could create unnecessary tensions, so I advise against it.

(c)2004, Universal Press Syndicate