Vote Fore! President Tiger?

Finally, a unity candidate? The dust is still settling on the '04 race, and already politicos are clamoring: Tiger Woods for president! In a "swing-vote special," the latest Travel + Leisure Golf magazine talks to political analysts including Jack Kemp, Joe Trippi, Dick Morris and Frank Luntz on the golfing god's political possibilities. Though Woods is only 28 and has a few years to go before he's eligible to run, "he could do it. He'd be it. He'd be the revolution," declares Trippi, the initial orchestrator of Howard Dean's presidential bid.

Says Kemp, a former pro quarterback, Republican congressman and veep candidate: "He's got natural appeal, a great smile and a very effective personality. Also, he transcends the many differences in our heterogeneous society."

Though not overtly political, Woods has some slight connections to political power: The father of his wife, Elin Nordegren, covers the White House for Swedish TV, and her mother is a member of the Swedish cabinet. "My guess is that Tiger would stand a better chance of actually being elected as a Republican," opines Morris, the former Clinton White House adviser turned Fox News contributor. Claims GOP pollster Luntz: "He would capture the country."

Don't Send 'Em Walking, Let Your Bumper Stickers Keep Talking

* So you want to recycle your presidential-election bumper stickers? Statistics prof Lisa Schaefer has a solution, at least for Democrats. Using anagram-generating software, she has turned the slogan "Kerry Edwards/A Stronger America/JohnKerry.com" into: "darK dry sEwer/Error Gets a Maniac/hornyJerK.com." But what does it all mean?

"The first line represents the source of election lawyers," Schaefer, a 34-year-old visiting assistant professor at American University, told us yesterday. "The second line represents what will happen if there's an error in counting the votes again. And the third line is the reputation of many politicians." Cute. So you're a . . . ? "I'm neither a Democrat nor a Republican," she replied. "In fact, I voted for a Dem and a Republican this morning -- but I won't say which one." Best to just let the bumper sticker do the talking.

The Daily Blowhard

"She's a fascist party doll!"

-- Comedian-actor Richard Belzer, about conservative pundit Ann Coulter.

"Is that Richard Belzer on the panel? I thought it was Osama Bin Laden."

-- Coulter, responding to Belzer's remark on Bill Maher's "Real Time" show on HBO.

SQUIBS

* The National Geographic Society yesterday named Chris Johns, a veteran photographer, as the editor-in-chief of its 9 million circulation magazine, succeeding Bill Allen, 63, who's retiring at the end of the year. Johns, 53, rises from associate editor to become only the ninth full-time editor in the society's 116-year history. "What I'd like to do is build on the foundation that Bill Allen's established: make the magazine smarter, faster, more engaging, more relevant," he told us yesterday. As for the announcement coming on Election Day, when barely any journalist might pay heed, Johns joked: "I just wanted to take myself out of the running for any Cabinet positions in either party."

* You may recall how the sexy cinematic team of Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson partied it up and wowed the ladies of Washington while filming "The Wedding Crashers" here over the summer. Wilson, for one, has fond memories: "I'll tell you, D.C. is a great city! I don't know what the ratio of girls to guys is up there, but it's pretty slanted in our favor," he tells Giant, a new entertainment mag for young men. "It was like fishing with dynamite."

* Official results aside, John Kerry did win by an ice cream landslide. So said the results of the DC Coast, TenPenh and Ceiba restaurants' ice cream survey that began Sept. 1. An astounding 64.4 percent of customers chose Kerry-related flavors.

* Crossing over: Another big-name musician is getting into the football franchise biz. Country star Tim McGraw, who plays a former high-school footballer in the movie "Friday Night Lights," has become part owner of the Arena Football League's Nashville Kats. Rocker Jon Bon Jovi is part owner of the Philadelphia Soul AFL team, and according to the Associated Press, McGraw joked he'd do anything to help promote his own new team -- even if it means getting on the field with Bon Jovi. "If he gets out there, I'll get out there because I know I can cream him," McGraw said.

* Leading indicators: In his last regular column, published in Newsday yesterday, legendary columnist Jimmy Breslin said he was so sure John Kerry would triumph that he didn't plan to stay up to watch the returns: "So I go to bed with total confidence," wrote the 74-year-old scribe. "And I leave today as the only one in America who from the start was sure John Kerry would win by a large margin."

With Anne Schroeder