I am deeply in love with a man who is handsome, smart and loving. We are engaged and happy together. The problem? We met on the Internet.
Abby, he thinks I am 26, but I'm not. Everything I've said to him has been a lie. I am really 12. I have tried to tell him the truth, but he doesn't believe me or thinks I'm joking. I try to break up with him, but we both can't say goodbye forever. I am 100 percent sure it's love.
He is planning to visit me in January. He says we will get married and have a nice future together. No one knows about this, so I need your help. What do I do next? How do I let go?
Lost in Love in Las Vegas
You have been lying on the Internet. What makes you think that he hasn't been lying, too? Has it occurred to you that this man who "won't let go" could be a child molester in his forties or fifties? What do you plan to do when he shows up? If you become further involved, he could be arrested!
For your safety, I urge you to tell your parents what has been going on. You have gotten yourself in over your head, and you may need more adult intervention than this columnist to get you out of the pit you have dug for yourself. Please talk to your parents. TODAY!
I have a 14-year-old son, "Adam," whose paternal grandmother, "Bryna," is making life difficult for him. He has acne, for which he's seeing a dermatologist. He also needs braces, and I'm working on that as well.
When Adam goes to visit Grandma Bryna, he gets put-down after put-down. She "comments" about his acne and also his teeth.
I am no longer married to her son (he's deceased), and while we were married, we all got pretty much the same treatment. I don't want to sever ties with Bryna, as Adam still wants that connection with his dad. My daughter, who is older, refuses to have anything more to do with her.
When Bryna says these things to my son, she instructs him not to say anything about it to me. I don't want her to accuse him of ratting her out. I am ready to tell her not to contact us again. Should I take such a drastic step and cut off all ties with her?
Frustrated in California
Why not? The woman is spreading poison. If you had poison oak in your garden, wouldn't you remove it?
I am 36 and "Vito," my significant other, is 44. I recently learned that he has been posing as a woman on an Internet swingers' site. He sends people naked photos of a girl -- and once I found a picture of a naked man. (Not him.) One of his objectives is to recruit couples for a threesome, and I believe he is also doing cybersex.
When I confronted Vito, he said it was just a joke. But it isn't the first time he has done this, and it is very hurtful.
Abby, Vito is sneaky, passive-aggressive and an alcoholic. I have always believed if you had to hide something from your partner or spouse, it was cheating. Is cybersex cheating?
Blondie in Daytona Beach
Yes, cybersex is cheating. When someone hides something from a spouse or partner, it's usually with the knowledge that the spouse or partner would disapprove.
Now, I have a question for you: Why are you wasting your time with someone who sneaks around looking for other sex partners? Romances like yours don't have happy endings. Be smart. Get checked for STDs and call it quits with Vito.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.
(c)2004, Universal Press Syndicate