But there's so much more we want to know! Must this trial end? Surely, somewhere, there's a former employee of Michael Jackson's who never testified. A gutter cleaner or something. Perhaps Jackson has one more nudie magazine we haven't yet examined!

We have seen so much in this trial. So many unhappy maids. So many young men who once were special friends of Michael. So many tales of drunken cavortings and crashed golf carts and even a story involving a psychic spoon-bender.

At the center of this trial are serious allegations that Jackson molested a then 13-year-old boy. But over the course of three months, as the minutiae of daily court life wore on and the sight of Jackson's kingly morning entrances became as familiar as cornflakes, the trial became about much, much less. Like: Does he wear a wig?

In a tribute to the trial-of-the-century that became the trial-of-the-so-icky, we offer this chance to ponder the strangest, sleaziest and most petty moments of the Michael Jackson trial.

Feb. 28: Opening arguments begin. Jackson arrives in what will become his courtroom uniform: a suit with armband, breast-pocket medallion and vest fob with sparkly charms. Spokeswoman Raymone Bain says, "Based on what he has in his closet, he has dressed rather conservatively for court."

March 1: Jackson's attorney says the accuser is a troublemaker who once was seen at the top of Jackson's Ferris wheel, throwing things at elephants. The jury watches British journalist Martin Bashir's documentary, in which Jackson claims the only plastic surgery he ever had was on his nose, to help him breathe better.

March 3: Jackson wears sandals with purple socks to court.

Police video of Jackson's Neverland ranch reveals that Jackson's bathroom contains two framed photographs of Elizabeth Taylor. Over the pop star's bed is a painting of the Last Supper -- with Jackson where Jesus should be.

March 9: Accuser says Jackson lovingly called him "doo-doo head."

March 10: Jackson wears pajama bottoms to court.

March 16: Prosecutors introduce porn recovered at Jackson's home.

March 17: Prosecutors introduce more porn.

March 23: Yeah, more porn. Highlight: a magazine called Plumpers & Big Women.

April 1: A slow day. Lengthy testimony concerning the phone system at Neverland contains phrases such as "hybrid key system" and "junior master console." Defense attorney Robert Sanger asks a witness, "There's nothing nefarious about the mute button is there?"

April 7: Adrian Marie McManus, a former Neverland maid, says child star Macaulay Culkin once dumped soda and popcorn on Jackson's head. She had to clean it up.

April 8: McManus adds that Jackson's pet monkey used to make foul messes in Jackson's room. She had to clean that up, too.

Former Neverland chef and sometime pornographer Phillip Lemarque says ranch security's codename for Jackson was, of all things, "silver fox."

April 13-19: The mom of the accuser hits the stand. In rambling asides, she refers to "the Germans" and "the killers." She talks about a body wax, a Denny's bathroom break, a licking incident, and says she once feared Jackson might make her family disappear in a hot-air balloon.

April 19: Prosecutors introduce a book called "Bob and Rob," with a cover showing two naked, oiled men hanging onto a tree branch. The contents of said book are not revealed.

April 28: Jackson's ex-wife Debbie Rowe says she still considers Jackson her "friend," although he won't "talk to me."

May 9: Outside court, Jackson spokeswoman Bain says Jackson's perspective on the world is best expressed in the John Lennon song "Imagine." "Imagine there's no hatred," she says.

May 11: The jury gets to watch a video of Jackson. "I'm not a nut," he says in the video.

May 16: Former Neverland chef's assistant Angel Vivanco testifies that the accuser's younger brother once demanded liquor in his milkshake, and that the accuser once said, "Give me the [expletive] Cheetos."

May 24: Jay Leno manages to slip a plug into his testimony: "We have Renee Zellweger on the show tonight."

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

Wiggy? Armbands, pajama bottoms, trinkets, vests, charms and crests all contributed to the offbeat atmosphere at Michael Jackson's child molestation trial.Jackson publicist Raymone Bain, above, talks to the press outside the Santa Barbara County Superior court after a day's testimony. Below, actor Macaulay Culkin, maid Adrian McManus and comedian Jay Leno all testified.