Russell, baby, the same thing happened to us once at a Hampton Inn. (Well, not the same exact thing, but still we feel for ya, mate.) "[Bleep] me, I'm sorry," the New York Daily News reported Russell Crowe as telling police after they arrested him for throwing a phone at a concierge at the tony Mercer Hotel early Monday morning. "I really didn't mean to hit the guy," said the Oscar-winning actor with the legendary temper. "I just wanted the [bleeping] phones to work."

Perhaps this isn't the only middle-of-the-night crisis at Lower Manhattan's favorite $2,300-a-room hotel. Imagine what complaints some other stars have at 4 a.m.:

Tom Cruise can't find the Dianetics book in the nightstand drawer.

Esther Ciccone needs extra yoga mats now.

Angelina Jolie demands husbands.

Gwen Stefani wants b-a-n-a-n-a-s.

Paris Hilton needs the camera with the night vision.

Britney and Kevin feel their room is too private.

Richard Gere needs his prayer wheel now, dammit.

Carrie Fisher would like the dead Republican removed, please.

Courtney Love is asking for a lawyer.

Liza Minnelli is still waiting for the cortisone.

-- Style staff

Bad call: Russell Crowe, arrested for throwing a phone at a hotel clerk.