Has-beens here! Has-beens there! Has-beens everywhere on last week's prime-time lineup, and viewers lapped it up.
Here's a look at the week's in and out:
"Dancing With the Stars." Inexplicably, about 13.5 million viewers watched the unveiling of ABC's dance competition starring C-list has-beens such as New Kids on the Block's Joey McIntyre, Rod Stewart's ex-model spouse Rachel Hunter, former world heavyweight boxing champ Evander Holyfield and professional reality-series star Trista Sutter. That's the most watched summer series debut since "Survivor" opened in 2000.
"Hit Me Baby One More Time." Since January, NBC has been searching for a way to win a week among the 18- to 49-year-olds it craves. Last week, has-been bands Loverboy, a Flock of Seagulls and Arrested Development showed NBC the way. "Hit Me" was the week's No. 1 program among 18- to 49-year-olds and the top-debuting summer reality series in two years in the demographic group advertisers love.
"Eagles Farewell Tour." Opposite ABC's "Dancing" debut, NBC clocked a six-week time-slot high among younger viewers with the farewell tour of this formerly famous group. Yes, it did better than all those Wednesday May sweeps stunts NBC dreamed up.
"Faith of My Fathers." While skewing kind of old -- median age nearly 60 -- A&E's adaptation of Sen. John McCain's book copped 3.7 million viewers on Memorial Day to become the basic cable network's most watched program in more than a year.
"48 Hours." In its first Tuesday telecast, CBS's newsmag, which usually languishes on Saturday, landed in the week's top 10 list among viewers of all ages and the coveted 18-49 demographic group. "48 Hours" will air Tuesdays until mid-July, when CBS debuts "Rock Star," its summer reality series about the search for a new lead singer for has-been band INXS.
Tony Awards. Last year, against tough competition that included a "Sopranos" season finale and a Lakers game, CBS's broadcast of the Broadway awards suffered its smallest-ever crowd of 6.46 million viewers. This past Sunday, opposite nothing much, the trophy show managed to attract -- about 40,000 more viewers.
"Miss Universe." Donald Trump's chick competition scored only 9.2 million viewers -- its smallest audience since 2001. This year NBC moved the show to Memorial Day, when viewing levels are typically depressed.
"Entourage"/"The Comeback." Slow starts Sunday for the return of HBO's "Entourage" and the debut of Lisa Kudrow's comedy "The Comeback." In their first telecasts, "Entourage" clocked 1.59 million viewers -- it averaged about 2 million in its first season -- after which "The Comeback" held on to most but not all of those viewers, averaging 1.51 million.
The week's 10 most watched programs, in order, were: CBS's "CSI"; ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" debut; CBS's "CSI: Miami," "Without a Trace," "Two and a Half Men," "Everybody Loves Raymond," Tuesday "48 Hours," "NCIS" and "60 Minutes"; and NBC's "Law & Order: Criminal Intent."