Cleaning Up Their Acts

If you are a star, here is how it works: You make a fool of yourself, then you hit the talk-show circuit and apologize, or you continue acting a fool. Russell Crowe recently passed through "Late Night With David Letterman" (he had already hit "Hardball With Chris Matthews" and "The Ellen DeGeneres Show") on the apology route, and Tom Cruise continued his love-struck, sofa-jumping routine on Jay Leno's "Tonight Show" (a la his earlier "Risky Business" style antics on "The Oprah Winfrey Show").

A red-faced Crowe expressed, again, how sorry he was for throwing a malfunctioning phone and hitting hotel concierge Nestor Estrada in the face. Crowe lost his cool early Monday during a stay in New York to promote a new movie. He spent a few hours in jail and the tabloids have now dubbed him "Jerkus Maximus."

"This is possibly the most shameful situation I've ever gotten myself in in my life, and I've done some pretty dumb things in my life," Crowe told Letterman on Wednesday night. "Hopefully at some stage I'll be able to apologize directly to Nestor, but at the moment he's not answering the phone."

No kidding.

And Cruise played to the crowd, jumping up and down on Leno's couch Wednesday night, pumping his arms as he mocked his Oprah "I'm in love!" performance over girlfriend Katie Holmes. Once he calmed down, he told Leno that being in love "is a thing I wish for everyone."

We don't know whether anyone is buying this love affair, but a Web site is selling it: trucker hats, mugs and T-shirts with the logo "Free Katie."

Madonna, Sect Symbol

At the hotel, hotel Kab-ba-lah! (sung to the tune "Copacabana").

Madonna wants to open a Kabbalah hotel. The one-word entity has just purchased a five-story Georgian house in London's Regent's Park that she wants to use as a hotel and drop-in center for the spiritual sect, according to Thisislondon.com. But neighbors don't sound too happy with the pop star's choice of location.

"We don't want any sect here," one neighbor, Zeze el-Dib, told the Web site. "I don't want to interfere with anybody's religious wishes, but with Kabbalah we have to be suspicious."

Another said: "Having a Kabbalah center would be totally inappropriate. It is a seriously manipulative sect which is very good at getting people's money, including Madonna's."

Coldplay Deciphered

It took the nerds only a few days to figure out the secret symbolic math code behind the multicolored cubes that adorn the front cover and liner notes of Coldplay's third album, "X&Y." New Music Express got top art experts (code word for nerds) to study the cover, and here's what they concluded: That the geometric figure on the cover is a 19th-century telegraphic alphabet known as the Baudot Code, or the International Telegraph Code No. 1. The rainbow colors were included to make it pretty.

News flash to rock stars: Please don't make us think.

-- Compiled by

Stephen A. Crockett Jr.

from wire reports

Russell Crowe visits with David Letterman on "Late Night" as part of the actor's apology tour.Madonna plans a Kabbalah hotel.

The artwork on the cover of Coldplay's "X&Y" is a mystery no more.