It's Rancher Beef Week at my local Safeway. Stock boys, cashiers and courtesy clerks from Bolivia, Vietnam, Switzerland, Ethiopia, Mexico, Virginia, North Carolina and Texas are wearing snazzy red-print bandannas and wide-brimmed cowboy hats. As he was restocking a shelf with half-and-half, I asked Iranian-born Ziad if he'd ever actually been on a horse. He looked at me and shrugged, "A horse? Never. A donkey, yeah." Carry on, Pilgrim.

Glen Finland


My company's BlackBerry network crashed for three days, for reasons known only to our network people in Chicago. So: dead space. No solicitations for Viagra or other meds. No news from "dear ones" in Nigeria wanting to give me money. No low-rate mortgage offers, no debt consolidation, no "hot singles" in my area. No weather, no prices, no words. On the fourth day the network people announced they had fixed the problem. I don't think so.

Steve Hedges


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