Dear Amy:

I am 66 years young and have been divorced 20-plus years. For my age, I have a fairly nice-looking body, which I take pride in, and am reasonably attractive.

I'm retired and living on a fixed income, so I don't get out much to meet people.

While walking my dog one day, I met a man jogging in my neighborhood. He is divorced and very attractive, and he seemed to show some interest in me. I felt excited for the first time in years.

A few weeks ago, he called to ask if he could come over and visit.

Right off the bat he says he thinks I have a great body and asks if I want to go to bed! To be honest, the thought had crossed my mind, but I don't even know him or how many other women he's crawled into bed with. I want a relationship with someone who is interested in me, not my body. Are there any men who don't want to hit the bed on a first date? How do I meet them?

My body also has a heart that's lonely. I want to have someone to do things with for fun, and I don't need to be showered with expensive things. Please advise.

Great Body With a Heart

First, you shouldn't invite a man you don't know to your home for a first meeting. You made a rookie mistake, but I hope you won't do that again. When you meet a gentleman you're interested in, it would be best to ask him for his number and call him to meet in a neutral place. I realize that dating practices have changed a little since you were last "out there," but there are safety concerns.

You say that you don't get out to meet people because you're retired and on a fixed income, but I'm trying to figure out why those things are holding you back. If you're athletic, you could research local running or hiking clubs to join. "Seniors" events are all the rage in sports, and you're sure to meet many people -- men and women -- who share your interests. For information on local clubs, check your local paper or www.craigslist.org.

Now that you're interested in getting to know men, you need to simmer down a little and work on some basic people-meeting skills. Once you stop focusing so much on your great body, you'll probably find that others won't focus on it too much, either. Then your great body becomes what it should be -- a beautiful bonus for you and some very lucky guy.

Dear Amy:

My fiance and I are planning a small, intimate wedding with only our immediate family and a few close friends.

My fiance's best friend, "Steve," has been dating a married woman for the past year. This woman constantly tells Steve that she will leave her husband for him, but of course this never happens.

I would prefer not to have this woman at my wedding. If we were having a large wedding, I could tolerate her because she would easily blend in with the other guests, but at a small wedding I feel it would be a mockery of the ceremony to have such a blatant display of marital infidelity.

If you tell me my feelings are unjustified, I will abide by your judgment.

Bride in the Midwest

I'm trying to figure out how this married woman can get away from her husband to attend your wedding.

He: "Honey, where are you going wearing your party hat and pretty chiffon dress?"

She: "Oh, I'm just going to the Piggly Wiggly for some soda. I'll be back tomorrow."

Fortunately, you don't have to worry about these details. According to conventional wedding etiquette, wedding guests are asked to bring their significant others to the ceremony if the couple is engaged or living together. Because "Steve" and squeeze don't fall into either category, you should issue an invitation to Steve alone.

Just remember that you and your fiance aren't making a mockery of marriage, Steve and his squeeze are. You're fine, and don't you forget it.

Write to Amy Dickinson at askamy@tribune.com or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.

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