Would you tell me why so many new brides are becoming monsters?
I understand that stress is part of the factor. We (and other parents) have spent small fortunes on our daughters' educations and weddings, but we've had to keep our mouths shut because of our daughters' behavior.
What is causing these new brides to behave this way? During her wedding process, our 25-year-old college graduate daughter lied almost as much as Jennifer Wilbanks. Several of our friends' daughters (all university grad students, lawyers and doctors) have made their parents' lives a nightmare.
I don't understand it -- none of these brides was being forced to marry. Is there anything that could help the parents of freaking brides?
What could be the cause of this freakish behavior of so many young women?
Lost for Answers
I can only speculate as to the reasons behind this wave of Bridezillas stomping over the land and breathing their mighty tongues of fire. My theory is these women, despite their individual successes in the world, hold onto their queen-for-a-day dreams because we -- their parents, friends and fiances -- let them. When we stop celebrating this behavior (by featuring it on "reality" shows, such as "Bridezillas") and start getting serious about this disrespectful and abusive behavior, they'll stop the Bridezilla act -- because it will no longer work for them.
My feeling is that marrying couples should be responsible for financing their weddings. There is no question that the stress of planning a wedding is very high on the life-stress scale, but there is an enormous wedding industry in this country encouraging them to become monster consumers and perfectionist-princesses. If couples finance their own weddings, at least they won't be taking money from their folks while they abuse them. (I'm not sure why you felt the need to keep your mouth shut when your daughter was being a "monster." Isn't it part of your job as her parent to let her know when she has crossed the line?)
I'd like to start a movement. I'm sure I'll be joined by legions of bridesmaids (bless their overworked hearts), as well as family members who have simply had enough.
Brides (and grooms -- you're part of the problem), it's time to take a chill pill. Dial down your behavior, or you'll have to deal with some "runaway" guests.
I am 14 years old, and I have no job. My father is getting married, and my mother said that he should pay for my dress for the wedding.
Do you agree?
I do agree with your mother. Go ahead and ask your father if he would like for you to wear a certain color or kind of dress for the wedding.
It would be great if he and your future stepmother could take you out and make this dress purchase a special occasion for all of you.
I'm a fan who reads you every day, and I must tell you the advice you gave to "Dining and Whining" was the most wrongheaded advice!
Is there any experience in life (well, maybe in dining) worse than haggling over "who had what" at the end of a pleasant dinner out? Ugh! Personally, I'd rather eat a TV dinner at home.
For Pete's sake, just split the bill down the middle and quit thinking about who had what and who took what away. And if you can't think of it as just the cost of a lovely evening out, try the TV dinner idea!
I don't think that calculating what you owe in a party of two couples is so very tough to figure out and I wouldn't describe this as "haggling."
Speaking as somebody who usually has a drink and also orders dessert, I wouldn't want for a friend to pony up 20 percent to 30 percent more on a bill to pay for my bad habits, would you?
(c)2005 by the Chicago Tribune
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