Dear Amy:

I am married to a wonderful man who provides well for us and adores our children and me. In total, I have the perfect life.

My problem is that we married young and I have never "been with" any other man. Now I regret that.

I've felt this way for several years, and it's making me miserable.

I don't know if I can continue to pretend to live this happy life anymore, but I don't want to hurt my family.

What can I do?

Should we separate?

Should I go to counseling?

I'm beginning to feel my husband was not "the one" for me and the right man is out there somewhere.

Could Be Anyone

I have a news flash for you: Most of us feel that "the one" is out there somewhere. I'm convinced that this phenomenon is the result of too many Meg Ryan movies and "Sex and the City" reruns.

Sometimes, however, "the right man" is the guy sitting at your kitchen table, wiping goobers off of the kids' faces.

Wouldn't it be awful if you left your family, only to learn that the right guy is the guy you described at the top of your letter -- the wonderful man who adores you and your children and is so much a part of your "perfect life"?

If you want to be more sexually adventurous, then give your husband the opportunity to participate. You can grow and change in the context of your marriage, especially if you'll let your husband be part of your journey. He may share some of your anxieties.

Don't leave your family based on a nagging worry that you're missing something. Use this feeling as a sign that you're ready to take your life to the next level.

A good therapist can help you to explore what that next level will be.

Dear Amy:

I'm a 15-year-old girl, and I've been going out with my boyfriend, "Terrance," for almost a year.

I really love him, but lately he's been talking a lot about having sex.

I don't think I'm ready to have sex, but Terrance keeps pressuring me.

Last week he told me that if we don't have sex, he would leave me for someone who would.

I care about him a lot and want to stay in the relationship.

What can I do to keep my boyfriend and my virginity?

Confused Teen in D.C.

I can't help but point out that someone who truly loves and respects you would never pressure you in this way. He's forcing you to choose, and though choosing isn't a lot of fun, making choices is what growing up is all about.

Your boyfriend has set you up. The only way to keep both your boyfriend and your virginity is to find another boyfriend.

So choose already. Terrance wants you to retreat from your virginity.

I'd suggest that you retreat from Terrance instead.

Dear Amy:

Like others who have written in to your column, I am tired of overhearing cell phone conversations, ringing and needless interruptions.

We recently had my daughter's wedding in Seaside, Fla., with family and close friends of the bride and groom.

The night before the wedding, the group convened at our house and I made this announcement: "During the ceremony I want all cell phones turned off or left behind. If I hear a cell phone ring during the ceremony, I will rip your head off."

I meant every word of the above and no cell phones rang during the ceremony.

Tired of CPs in Indiana

How romantic!

Write to Amy Dickinson at or Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Ill. 60611.

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