WHO'S NAUGHTY AND WHO'S NICE is a list kept not only at Christmas. The Council on Economic Priorities has just issued its 1991 edition of "Shopping For a Better World," which rates corporations on a dozen social issues, including their charitable contributions, advancement of women and minorities, participation in animal testing, willingness to disclose information, community outreach programs, investment in South Africa, environmental concerns and family benefits.

This year, the big winners are Colgate Palmolive, General Mills, Kellogg and S.C. Johnson, all of whom achieved high grades for 11 of the 12 categories. Other companies honored for achieving top marks in 10 categories include the local Giant Food Inc., as well as Celestial Seasonings, Hershey Foods and Procter & Gamble.

On the other hand, companies on the "dishonor" list include Castle & Cooke (Dole Fruits and Sun Giant Raisins), ConAgra (Armour Meats, Butterball Turkey, Chun King, Wesson Oil, Healthy Choice) and Dean Foods (Mrs. Weaver's Chicken).

The mass market edition by Ballatine Books is available at major bookstores for $5.95. A smaller, pocket-size version can be obtained by sending send $6.45 (that includes postage and handling) to CEP, 30 Irving Place, New York, N.Y. 10003.

REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE. Those words are becoming the mantra of the environmentally conscious. Now, the Food Marketing Institute, in consultation with environmentalists, manufacturers and other special interest groups, has published a pamphlet entitled "Reduce, Reuse and Recycle -- You and I Can Make a Difference," which outlines how consumers can make an environmentally positive impact by changing their purchase and disposal patterns.

The fold-out brochure also includes information on the garbage glut, solid waste myths and the pros and cons of paper and plastic grocery bags. For a copy, send 50 cents and a stamped, self-addressed business envelope to: "Reduce, Reuse, Recycle," Consumer Affairs Department, Food Marketing Institute, 1750 K St. NW, Washington, D.C. 20006.

REVEAL OUR FANTASIES? Never! Yet, Quaker Oats (yes, Quaker Oats) recently commissioned a market research firm to find out not only what kinds of toppings people put on their oatmeal, but what kinds of toppings they imagine using.

We'd never divulge such secrets, but Quaker Oats somehow succeeded in its quest.

In the "hard reality" phase of the survey, the most commonly used topping was sugar, followed by fruit, milk/cream, cinnamon, butter, honey, syrup and nuts. Only 4 percent of oatmeal users said they did not use a topping.

In the fantasy phase of the survey, when asked what vegetables they would use to top their oatmeal, consumers identified carrots, tomatoes, broccoli, corn and peas. As for toppings for holiday time, respondents said they would use strawberries and blueberries to celebrate the Fourth of July. And when asked what they thought famous people would use to top their oatmeal, the most commonly cited examples were wheat germ, granola and bran for Arnold Schwarzenegger, strawberries for Princess Diana, broccoli for George Bush and caviar or borscht for Mikhail Gorbachev.

Oh well. What else could you expect when January is National Oatmeal Month?

BAKED ALMOND CATFISH (4 servings)

Serve these sweet catfish fillets in a crunchy almond crust with rice tossed with peas and a sprinkle of lemon zest.

1/2 cup whole almonds, toasted

3 tablespoons cornmeal

2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese

2 tablespoons fresh parsley, chopped

1 tablespoon flour

Salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

2 pounds catfish fillets

Parsley springs and lemon wedges, for garnish

Grind almonds and combine with the cornmeal, Parmesan, parsley, flour, salt and pepper. Sprinkle the lemon juice over the catfish and coat the catfish thoroughly with the almond mixture. Place the fillets on a baking sheet and bake at 400 degrees for 8 minutes, or until cooked through. Serve immediately.

Per serving: 358 calories, 45 gm protein, 10 gm carbohydrates, 15 gm fat, 2 gm saturated fat, 106 mg cholesterol, 252 mg sodium.

-From the Almond Board of California

ONLY A CONFIRMED FOOTBALL FAN would fall for such a gimmick, but here it is, just in time for those Super Bowl bashes. Abbyland Sausage & Meats of Abbotsford, Wis., has football-shaped hams and summer sausages.

They're close to life size, although at four pounds they're a bit heavy for a down-and-out pass pattern, but then how big can a TV room be? A two-pound version is available for weak arms. The cost is $15.25 (plus UPS shipping) for the large size and $7 (plus shipping) for the small. Call 800-541-5266.

We've had better ham (it's chopped and reshaped) and we've had better summer sausage, but like we said, it doesn't take much to amuse a football fanatic.

HEY, DIDDLE DIDDLE, I'm watching my middle; I'm hoping to whittle it soon. But eating's such fun it may not get done 'til my dish runs away with my spoon."

This little plaint comes from Hale G. Joy's "Just Pondering" column in the Ellsworth {Maine} American. Joy credits "Parson to Person," a pamphlet that he came across years ago by a Rev. Doug Henderson.

We assume it was some sort of divine dessert that brought Henderson to bray for help.