Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings, Halt your talks and summit meetings And raise a glass of Christmas cheer, Of Perrier or low-cal beer, To D.C.'s special spots and places, Little-known and oft-seen faces; Join us in these festive toasts To candidates and party hosts, To those who make our local scene A curious blend of French cuisine, Southern grits and beans and pork. (Eat your heart out, Old New York.) Some introductory toasts will do To give a rosy overview, To somehow cover clans and classes, To salute each one among the masses: To those whose names are in the headlines, Those who ride on Blue and Red Lines, Those who paid jaywalkers' fines, Dancers who can't find Pier Nine, Pollsters, punsters, the politico, Those on the take or in the know; To Hilltop aides and chic trendsetters, Bastions of the arts and letters, To those with seats at Redskins games. Now let's start to name some names: Cyrus Vance and Griffin Bell, Harold Brown, we wish you well; Jody, Ham, and the White House team, To you we sip amaretto and cream. The best to you, Joan and Fritz, Deeda Blair and Gwen Cafritz; To Carter's "Friday" Susan Clough we Drink champagne with Page Lee Hufty. To Martin Agronsky, the tube's Paul Berry, Our friend Jim Vance, more news that's merry! Bagleys, Bogleys, Bealls, Blair Lee, Mayor Marion (you won it fairly), Join to cheer on maitre d' Paul Delisle of Sans Souci; Jean-Pierre we must include And Jean Michel, not to be rude; Baptista's pate, don't forget, Or Christain Domergue, king of baguette. For those who rue the Len Hauss loss Let's soothe their wounds with Haagen Dazs; We'll mix up shakes with Chocolate Chip For the Washington Caps and the Washington Dips; Serve the Orfilas scoops of Rum Raisin, Then ask the John Warners and Peter Jays in. Speaking of Redskins, we agree On a merry season for Jack Pardee; Drink Gatorade to Moseley's toes, Walton's offense and Theismann's throws; Riggins, Thomas, and Tony Green, please Tape up your ankles and pad your knees. (Ron McDole and Pete Wysocki, We also need you to play hockey.) Let bells ring out for Motta's champs, Mike O'Harro, king of Tramp's, Novel's and Bogart's, scions of hair, Golfer Lee Elder and freddy, McNair. For Braden, Joan and Braden, Tom; The eight to whom you're Dad and Mom; The Howard Bakers, Mildred and Tip; For Amy Carter and Second Son Chip, A Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year- We raise a glass of you-know-whose beer. For Joe Califano on New Year's Day We'll put our cigarettes away And cut down on the saccharin Till Warner Wolf comes home again. But Christmas memories are not all cheer, So in our eggnog we shed a tear For those who joined the mobile society And chose to leave town rather quietly. Midge Costanza, Peter Bourne, Where are you this Christmas morn? King Tut hit the road, split town (But left behind J. Carter Brown); Mouth Mike Wolfe got the ax; Chicago won newscaster Max; Redskinette navels, vanished in bunches, May soon be joined by martini lunches. Merry Christmas, Ardeshir, Whether far or whether near; Throw on the fire a dozen Yule logs, a special one for newsman Boggs, Annie and Warbucks, Tongsun and Tandy- A flame still burns for Delores Handy. Coach George, is your Christmas blue Without a card from EBW? Here today, they're in, then out, Adieu to Dominique's Peruvian trout. A few departures make our eyes twinkle- Sing Auld Land Syne to Betty's wrinkles, Joy to the world for uplifting gifts, The Willard's and Fairfax's new face lifts. New arrivals will raise our hope, Ease our tensions, help us cope; We welcome warmly Archie's chair, Elizabeth Taylor, Proxmire's hair, And at Christmas next year, maybe, We can toast a panda baby. Let's not forget the artist set, We praise them all and we regret We'll not name names for fear we Wound some local Van Gogh dearly. (We've seen David Tannous's Scars and bruises. To Jan Van Dyke and Choo San Goh, We flex our heel and point our toe And make a quite polite plie To those of Washington Ballet. Hang more tinsel on the fir tree For somebody's darling, Larry McMurtry. Happiest Hanukah to Herman Wouk- Remembering war may you not go broke. Purveyors of culture, Rog and George Stevens, May your house be repaired and may you break even. Warm the wassail and gaily give Duffey, Joe, and Biddle, Liv, David Chambers and Kay Shouse Applause to bring down any house. Let's give Kay Elliott a toast quite hearty- She'll not be planning a Christmas party. Zelda Fichandler, come home soon To hear Slava's orchestra back in tune. Ephron and Bernstein, Barbara Howar; Those who sit (or sat) in power: Washington's Washington, Tucker and Fauntroy, Shackleton, Hechinger, we wish you much joy. Schloesinger, Kreps, and the Cabinet crew, Stan Turner and Schultze and dear old Zbigniew, Light up the tree, hang your stockings with care, Put rum in the White House, if you dare, And join us to wish for Jimmy and Rosalynn, Dear Miz Lillian, all Carters and kin, A wonderful Christmas, a season of mirth; Ruth Carter Stapleton, here's to rebirth. (If the punch gets to boozy, loosens the tongue, Keep it away fron Andy Young.) To Clyde's and Nathan's, Ruby's and Trudie's, The Roma, Duke Zeibert's, The Palm, our gratuities. In restaurants and bars let's order a refill, Give thanks for Camp David and Hickory Hill. Let's not forget our daring commuters, Maryland's, Virginia's daily horn tooters: To Cabin John Bridgers and 495ers, And Rosslyn circle's daily survivors, We raise our right arms and from the soul. Salute those unscathed by the Mixing Bowl. There's names we've omitted, names we've left out; We've ruined some holidays we've no doubt. To all of our friends, our foes, and our readers, To payers of Vepco's and Pepco's mean meters, To C&P users with bills overdue, And feathered, furred friends at the National Zoo, Happy New Year, Shalom, the Best and the Most Joyous of Seasons, with Love from The Post.