There's No Place Like Home : Apparently hoping to add to his bank account, former governor George Wallace planned to lead a group of tourist s through Israel beginning on Valentine's Day. But by the middle of last month only about 20 people had signed up to pay for the $1,300 trip to The Holy Land. That wasn't enough people to cover the cost of a Wallace entourage that would have included a medical aide, a state trooper and a staffer, so the trip was canceled. There have been other difficulties with Wallace's foreign adventures; in 1975 he traveled to Italy where Pope Paul VI refused him an audience. Wallace works as director of rehabilitation resources at the University of Alabama-Birmingham.

But Mademoiselle, the Standards : Last month a friend planned a birthday lunch at Lion D'Or in honor of Candy Shy (yes, her real name; she works as a Washington lobbyist for a Thxas gas company). But the management didn't share the host's sense of humor and forbade the tableside delivery of a singing birthday message along with the plat dujour. At the Sans Souci, on the other hand, then maitre d'hotel Paul DeLisle took the opposite tack, helping to arrange a grand entrance by a representative of National Onion who warbled best wishes while startled diners looked on in amusement.

The Politics of Rock : There was a time when California Gov. Jerry Brown's campaign schedule was based on how long it took him to reach an event from a Sacramento hotel. But last time around, according to sources in California, his timetable was built around his girlfriend's schedule. Events were reportedly planned according to how long it took Brown to travel to the event from wherever Linda Ronstadt was staying.