So long to WIN buttons, Billy Beer, Skylab, George Allen, the B1 bomber, Washington Senators, Watergate, the 10-cent phone call, gas wars, The Daily News, the Central Library, convertibles, long hair, Newsworks, Liz Ray and Fanne Fox, the New Left, the presidential yacht Sequoia, Warner Wolf, Sonny and Billy, the 6 3/4% mortgage, privacy, the Republic of China embassy, Maury Povich, RKO Keith's, secondhand Army fatigues, Firestone 500s, Lansburgh's, 65 mph speed limits, leisure suits, Deep Throat, inflatable furniture, free parking for the bureaucracy, the Apollo program, the Occidental, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, Operation Independence, Kann's, cyclamates, the Three Sisters Bridge, the Federal City Club, Red Dye No. 2, White House guards regalia, hot pants, WV Beetles and the Bicentennial. So long to the Seventies.
If we'd known 10 years ago what we know today, we'd have bought gold. In January 1970, bullion sold for less than $35 an ounce. Of course, if we'd known what we know now, we wouldn't have needed it, because we'd have written Love Story or Jonathan Livingston Seagull. We'd have bet heavily against the Redskins in the '73 Super Bowl, held on to all our narrow ties and started pumping iron -- and oil. We'd have been pretty smart.
Turns out we were pretty dumb. If you'd asked, we'd have said we liked having McGovern behind us 1,000 percent. We'd have agreed that the White House shouldn't concern itself with third-rate burglaries. We'd have told you that no one could ever hit more homers than the Babe and that there'd never be another Sugar Ray (We wouldn't have known Liz Ray from Dixy Lee Ray). If you'd asked, we'd have said there was about as much chance of Liz Taylor becoming the wife of a senator, from Virginia, as, well, as there was of a pope named Karol.
If we could, we'd wrap up the '70s in a nice, neat package and throw in a few predictions for the '80s. But, frankly, the '70s were sort of confusing. We're 10 years older, but we're not any wiser about what's to come. Invest in Chinese food. Stay out of the subway on a rainy day. Don't bet on the Caps. But before you get too stuck on the future, say so long to the '70s, and smile. Redskin quarterback Billy Kilmer: "Here's Sonny [Jurgensen], who's the greatest passer in the history of football and here's Billy Kilmer who throws floaters and who don't pass like Sonny does. You think I didn't get upset when [george] Allen benched me? Hell, I didn't let anybody know it, but inside it nearly killed me. It would have upset any normal intellectual person."
Said to I. M. Pei, designer of the National Gallery of Art's new East Wing, at the opening ceremonies: "You have something here very classical, very noble, but not tyrrancial or ponderous."
Said Pei: "Thanks, I didn't want it to be a Lincoln Memorial." "Peace is much more precious than a piece of land" -- Anwar Sadat. "The generation gap and all the other gaps are overplayed. It's only a minority who says there is a gap. Most young people aren't interested in rebellion" -- Tricia Nixon. "In the '60s you just had to sit down to get arrested. Now you've gotta climb a 10-foot fence. I'm getting too old" -- Jerry Rubin, protesting at a New York nuclear plant. "I can't type, I can't file, I can't even answer the phone" -- Elizabeth Ray. Richard Nixon is asked in China: "What do you think of the wall, Mr. President?" "I think you would have to conclude that this is a great wall," he replied. Tommy Scott, of Albuquerque, N.M., grew this eggplant in 1973 which he said reminded him of an important political figure at the time. "What's a mayor for? Anything that falls down, it comes back to what's the mayor doing about it, including the weather" -- Walter Washington. "I got a mama who joined the Peace Corps when she was 68. I got one sister who's a Holy Roller preacher. Another wears a helmet and rides a motorcycle. And my brother thinks he's going to be president. So that makes me the only sane one in the family" -- Billy Carter. TASS News Agency: "This amoral and useless phenomenon [streaking] is significant of the spiritual state of spontaneous rebellion engendered by . . . youth without prospects for the future in the capitalist world . . ." "We always had a few guys on those Washington teams that weren't playing with a full deck . . . especially that last team. And, brother, I was one of them" -- Frank Howard. White House electrician Traphes Bryant said to me one of the White House guards the first night they had duty in their new uniforms: "What are you, the Mexican Army?" "I don't believe in that 'no comment' business. I always have a comment -- Martha Mitchell." ". . . We're always going to have a certain number of people in our community who have no desire to achieve or who have no desire to even fit in an amicable way with the rest of society. And these people should be separated from the community. . ." -- Spiro Agnew. Theodore Reed, director of the National Zoo, said about the pandas: "They're so sweet and cuddly and lovable that you just want to pick them up and hug them and squeeze them, and they'll beat the hell out of you." "I can't tell you what I feel. . . It's like a dream. Every sacrifice I've made five years of sacrifices. . . I've got it. The gold medal. But it's all over. I'll never box again" -- Sugar Ray Leonard, August 1976. Ladies and gentlemen," a voice announced on the public address system the first day of Metro rail service, "We think we know what our problem is. There are too many people on this train. Will some of you please get off?" "It's always the little things in life that bring you down" -- Richard Nixon. "I don't look forward to wearing the scarlet letter of Watergate for the rest of my life" -- John Dean. "I have to tell you that I love America very much. I sit in my Watergate apartment in Washington the other day and the telephone rings and it is Jimmy Carter. We had a very nice and interesting talk." -- Mstislav Rostropovich. "Your Holiness, I am Mr. Legett of the Secret Service," said John Legett, head of the pope's secruity detail. "I am John Paul, the pope," was the reply. "There is no 'fashion.' Everybody does what they want to do. But they do not have eyes any more. They don't see themselves from behind" -- Marlene Dietrich. "If you rub your hand over it, it feels like a two-day growth of beard," said Sen. William Proxmire as he unveiled his $1,500 hair transplant. "I could have gotten a beautiful wig for only $500." "Look, I'll be back. George Allen will be back. You can underline that and put it in caps. In fact, you better underline it twice. GEORGE ALLEN WILL BE BACK. It's my life" -- George Allen. "My esteem in the country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now that when people wave at me, they use all their fingers" -- Jimmy Carter. Stephen Maran, head of NASA's Operation Kohoutek in Greenbelt, said: "It might turn out to be much fluffier than we thought. Much more snowy than icy, like one of those puffy confections -- you know, a macaroon. Do I mean a macaroon?" "The opera ain't over 'til the fat lady sings" -- Dick Motta, Bullets coach. "When you buy peace at any price, it is always on the installment plan for another war" -- Richard Nixon. "One thing I have discovered is that running a cultural center is harder than building one" -- Roger L. Stevens. "After months and years of strenuous overexertion, people are beginning to ask: Why?" -- Vic Ziegel and Lewis Grossberger, "The Non-Runner's Book." "Jerry's the only man I ever knew who can't walk and chew gum at the same time" -- Lyndon Baines Johnson. "I don't stand on protocol. If you just call me excellency, that will be sufficient" -- Henry Kissinger. "Many are cold but few are frozen" -- William Simon.