Nowhere is it written that Christmas ornaments must be smooth and shatter-prone. They can be hand-knitted and infinitely droppable, as well as appealing. These couple-of-inches-long hats, socks and gloves might also do to winterproof just the right doll. Hang one on your favorite bamboo plant or cut-leaf philodendron. Stick one in a get-well card if you're not quite up to knitting the convalescent bed socks but still favor the basic idea. Use a couple to make your dashboard cozier instead of suspending a pair of baby shoes from the car mirror. Buy now and figure out more uses later.

Knitted ornaments. $2.80 each ppd. Kuner International, Box 42, Annandale, Va. 22003. 941-6185. STAPLE DIET

An engaging stapler is a distinct rarity, even among the most orderly folk -- but when it's only 11/4 inches long, that's quite another matter. Carry one with you at all times in pocketbook or pocket (wearing it on a chain around your neck would probably be excessive). Rejoice in being able to attach any paper to any other paper whenever you need to. Or don't need to. The universe will seem a neater place, especially to Virgos who go in for neatness in a big way. This smidgeon of a stapler comes in magenta, blue, green, pink, gray, white, black. Different ones with different fashion ensembles, perhaps? Or for different-colored papers?

Miniature stapler. $3.95. Refill staples. $1. The Washington Inkwell, 1100 Pennsylvania Ave. NW. (The Pavilion). 289-4160. COLOR ME LIGHT

The kid's gonna be an artist when he grows up. You can tell by the way he shrieks, howls and buries his teeth in the furniture as you drag him away from his coloring project and off to bed. Soften the transition somewhat by installing this artist-oriented night light. It may calm him, even inspire him to yet greater visions on the morrow. On the other hand, it may provide the illumination for him to sneak out of bed and back to his coloring book. The quasi-crayon is 17 inches tall, takes a seven-watt bulb and comes in a good primary red, yellow or blue. Coming soon, no doubt: a night light that resembles a computer graphics screen, in techno- technicolor.

Crayon night light. $13.99. Call It Yours!, Montgomery Mall, 7101 Democracy Blvd., Bethesda. 469-0120. JOIN THE CLUB

Clubs can be so . . . well, clubby, what with their initiation fees, hazing and overbearing requirements. The Cinema Classics Club is not like that. It is happy to accept you simply if you send it your name and address. Then the club sends out a bimonthly catalogue in which it describes great films of the past that are available, each for $19.95, directly through the club. There's everything from Bogart to Bela Lugosi, from Edward G. Robinson to silent films. You do not have to pay an initiation fee to join and you do not need to wear a beanie on your head to remain a member in good standing.

Send name and address to Cinema Classics Club, 620 Laura Dr., Falls Church, Va. 22046.