You're ready for that Washington rite of pas- sage -- going to a Redskins game. You didn't think you'd get by for the face value of $40 to $70 per pair of tickets, did you? Here's what you'll have to lay out to do it right. 1. Outfitting yourself: Redskins boxer shorts, $8.95; Redskins sweatpants and sweatshirt, $36.90; official Poly-fil team jacket (the one Coach Gibbs wears), $109.99; team scarf, leg warmers and hat, $25.85; Skins helmet wristwatch, $9.95; Skins helmet earrings, $7.95.
2. Getting there: Round-trip Metro tickets for two, $3.40 to $5. Or Skins key ring, license plate frames, bumper sticker, "Fan on Board" sign and auto air freshener, $19.40; plus $5 general parking, or fine for parking in a residential zone in the stadium vicinity on game days, $20.
Subtotal$3.40 to $39.40
3. Getting in: Two scalped tickets for premium seats -- 50-yard line -- approximately $500, if you can get them (hey, you only live once, and mediocre seats will probably cost almost $400).
4. Staying warm: For you and your companion, two 20-ounce draft Miller Lites, $7; two "Body Warmers" (hot chocolates with cordials), $7; two knackwurst with large fries, $13; a couple of bags of popcorn or peanuts, $5.50.
5. Helping them win: Air horn, $12.50; giant foam No. 1 hand, $8; pennant, $3; throat lozenges, 59 cents.
Now take a deep breath.
Total$759.58 to $795.58.