For parents: "We know now how complex babies are and how wonderfully programmed they are for coping, so now we ought to get on with the job of providing parents with that information so they can do their job: interacting with the baby; talking with baby; carrying baby more; being available when they can.

"If they work, when they come in they should pick up the baby and hug him and sit there and and rock him until the baby is ready to go . . ." :: For pediatricians: "I want to make it universal that pediatricians all get exposed to child development and normal parenting so they have some idea of what they're dealing with most of the time. It doesn't matter if they're cardiologists or surgeons or whatever. If they don't understand what kids go through and what parents go through, they're not going to do one third of their job." :: For grandparents (and other relatives): "You don't just walk in, look them in the face and swoop them up and love them. No child wants you to invade their territory that way.

"You have to walk in, looking away. Then stand there and wait until the child comes and touches you and then you look down and say, 'Hiiii.' If they look back, you're off."