Feelings of Adoptive Mothers I want to thank Florence Trefethen for her article on the feelings of an adoptive mother {Lifeline, Jan. 29}. I thought I was odd to worry so much about the biological mother's loss. My daughter has a birthday on Feb. 29, Leap Year, and it's such a special day for all of us, but I always think about the biological mother and what a hard day this must be for her.

My adopted children are only 7 and 10, and I don't know how they will feel when they are older, but I hope their biological mothers know that both children are wonderful and happy. Helene McAdams Darnestown, Md.

As the birth mother of a girl whom I gave up for adoption, I was touched by Florence Trefethen's comments. Last month I celebrated my daughter's sixth birthday with a mixture of pain and joy. I haven't seen her since she was a week old. I am living proof that all birth mothers are not bitter about their experience. I love my daughter very much, and that is why I chose to give her up for adoption.

The pain I feel at not seeing my daughter grow up will always be with me, at times intense and other times barely perceptible. But I have learned how to live with that pain, and I would never change what I did. Adoption was the right choice. I chose to give her life. For that I will never be sorry. Elizabeth Walters Annapolis Junction, Md.

So seldom do birth mothers hear truly kind things said about them that I was pleasantly surprised to read Florence Trefethen's story. It was heart-warming evidence that adoptive parents can and do grow in love and understanding toward birth parents, that the two need not be adversaries.

What is not surprising, however, is the difficulty her daughter has encountered in searching for information about her biological mother. The secrecy maintained by the concept of adoption surrender as a contract needs to be corrected. When a mother surrenders a child, she has no legal right to be informed of alternatives, to choose the terms of her child's adoption, to receive ongoing information about her child's welfare. She has no legal right to be informed if her child's adoption is never finalized (this occurs in 15 percent of infant adoptions) or to be notified if her child dies. Such a contract should be invalid, but few adoption arrangers enlighten expectant mothers about the serious legal and emotional risks. Laura Lewis Coordinator, Concerned United Birthparents Inc. Bowie Breast Size and Self-Esteem

In response to the article on the safety of silicone implants {Healthtalk, Jan. 22}, it is unfortunately true that the term "flat-chested" is a term of derision. However, to suggest that breast augmentation is a "remedy" is intensely insulting. The remedy for this "problem" is not surgery but a serious and desperately needed change in modern attitudes toward women.

A healthy small breast is just as functional as a healthy large breast. It provides sufficient milk for newborns and is a satisfactory erogenous zone. Breasts come in many shapes and sizes, and all should be appreciated.

Many women tell themselves, "I'm augmenting my breasts in order to feel good about myself." Where will the women be who have "accepted themselves" merely in terms of making themselves attractive when they are discarded for a woman sporting the latest model of the superboob? Anne C. Butz Annandale

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