An Arlington County jury began deliberating at 4:30 p.m. yesterday the case of Georgetown hairdresser Raymond Louis Urgo, charged with murdering his girl friend Ellen Kisacky during a group sex and drug party at his Arlington Towers apartment last January.

Before the case went to the jury, Circuit Court Judge Charles S. Russell instructed the jury not to consider a verdict of first-degree muder, saying no evidence was presented to show Urgo deliberately intended to kill Miss Kisacky.

The remaining possible verdicts were second-degree murder, involuntary manslaughter, or acquittal.

At different times during the dramatic closing arguemnts, Urgo put his fingers in his ears as if to block out the recounting of the slaying and could be heard sobbing softly. The members of the jury concentrated impassively on the lawyers as they presented their arguments.

The prosecutors claimed that Urgo shot Kisacky in the mouth with a .357 magnum as the culmination of a sexual act as she lay nude on the bed. The defense countered with the contention that it was a tragic accident.

Urgo was charged with the murder of Kisacky and the use of a firearm during the commission of a murder.

The testimony in the trial showed that during the Jan. 8, party, at Urgo, Kisacky and two other women engaged in sexual activites took drugs and drank wine.

Assistant Arlington [WORD ILLEIBLE] the Attorneys Arthur [WORD ILLEGIBLE] and William Nunn presented evidence and suggested that there were unusual sexual practices by Urgo, including the use of guns, chains, and handcuffs, during sex. They also referred to his past use of heroin, cocaine, marijuana and Quaaludes, a calming drug that allegedly can enhance sexual pleasure.

One of the women at the party, Mary Lee Kingsley, an executive secretary for the American Association of Comprehensive Health Planning, testified about lovemaking during the party between herself and another guest, Monique Tyson of Luxembourg. She said they took drugs just before the killing.

But in his closing statement, Karp said, "There was one (sexually) unsatisfied person in that room, one extra person who had been left out. That was Ray Urgo. He decided to use the gun to get himself into the action."

Karp also thinked that Urgo and Kisacky, who were lovers, may have had a disagreement shortly before the killing and that Urgo may have assaulted her.

Karp said Urgo exhibited a "reckless, wanton, indifference to the rights of (Miss Kisacky/ to continue living."

At that point, Urgo hung his head and stopped his ears with his fingers.

Urgo's attorney, Richard Ben-Veniste, a former assistant special Watergate prosecutor, told the jurors in his closing statement, "I am not going to paint Ray Urgo as a chori boy. Each of the people in the party that night were into the use of drugs. Their sexual activities were unusual to say the least."

But Ben-Veniste asked the jurors not to hold Urgo's lifestyle against him.

Slowly and empatically, Ben-Veniste described how Urgo loaded his revolver with bullets at the foot of the bed where Tyson, Kisacky and Kingsley had been kissing each other. Urgo covered his face with his hand at the defense table.

Urgo shot Kisacky in the mouth several seconds later, his attorney said. Urgo immediately called police and later told them he had brought out the gun because, "he wanted to be a big shot," Ben-Veniste said. Urgo began wiping tears from his eyes.

Ben-Veniste said Kisacky may not have protested the use of the gun and implied that she wanted it as part of a sexual act.

"Does (Urgo) say to police that when he put it in her mouth . . . it was sexual?" Ben-Veniste asked the unemotional jurors. "No. He didn't say it. Could he bring that kind of shame to someone killed at his hand?"

Ben-Veniste then played the emotional tape-recorded phone call Urgo made to police a minute after the incident. One juror held his hand over his face. Another hung her head. When he heard himself moan to police, "Oh, Dana . . . Dana . . . Dana," Urgo held his face in his hands and sobbed quietly. He continued crying for about five minutes.

"Long after the judge and prosecutors have put this case out of their minds, there will be one person who will be tortured by what happened Jan. 8, the rest of his life," Ben-Veniste said.

A second degree murder conviction requires proof of malice without deliberate intent or premediation and carries a jail term of between five and 20 years in prison.

Involuntary manslaughter requires proof of criminal negligence, "a reckless or wanton disregard for the safety of others," which is contrary to the intentions of the person committing the act. The penalty is from one of five years in prison.