Does your dog howl all night? Kid claim he can't sleep because Boris Karloff is under the bed? Are you troubled by insomnia? If so, try reading government regulations aloud.They can knock anybody out.

Federal edicts are available without prescription. They are generally considered safe and nonaddictive. And many of them have an incredibly high MEGO rating, which helps if you want to sleep or fall into a stupor.

MEGO is a term coined during the Nixon years by White House staffers. It stands for My Eyes Glaze Over. It can be applied without discrimination to dull conversations, dreary sermons, federal and business memos, and even some newspaper articles.

With all that out of the way, here is the first MEGO of the Month Award. It goes for let-me-make-myself-perfectly-unclear memo-writing from, heaven forbid, the U.S. Office of Education. A union official there thought it too horrible not to inflict on the rest of the world and passed it along. Bear in mind the writer (who declined a by-line) is one of the officials determining federal educational policy for your children.

The heart of the memo:

". . . Whether to delegate to the Associate Commissioner for Management and Administration, with authority to redelegate, authority to make formal decisions on employee grievances, including, without authority to make such decisions where a formal deciding official determines an examiner's recommendations concerning a grievance are unacceptable . . ." There is more, but the rest of it gets sort of confusing.

Bitter Campaign: The National Association of Government Communicators is in process of picking a new leadership team. The 1,000-plus NAGC members are voting now, by mail ballot, for president, vice president and other officers.

Unlike many professional groups, the NAGC election is for real. The battle between presidential candidates David H. Brown of the Government Printing Office and Tom Kell of Civil Service Commission, has been hot and heavy. NAGC came into being a few years ago as a result of a merger between the old Federal Editors Association and the Government Information Organization.

Some members fear that the tough contest this year could split the NAGC.Both of the top candidates, however, Brown and Kell, have expressed the hope that the best man will win and that the loser's supporters won't walk out.