I could not believe my eyes recently, when I read an article in which Dr. Poussaint called a man a martyr for staying faithful to his divorced wife for five and a half years.
To me, this is pure hypocrisy. When a couple is married, they are joined together under a covenant of God. Do not forget, too, that couples are joined until death, for better or for worse.
In your article, you state that it hasn't yet been determined how divorce will affect our society and our children. Divorce is a sin, as is abortion, homosexuality, adultery, lust, etc. Sin is what tears great cities and nations apart. -- A. C., U.S. Navy Dear A. C.:
You must be exaggerating when you claim that you couldn't believe your eyes when you read our feelings about divorce and fidelity.
Every day, in newspapers and magazines all over the country, opinions are expressed by social scientists that are far more radical than ours -- although we do not consider this position radical.
You should understand that we are a nation of people with a wide spectrum of beliefs and religious orientations. You have the right to your opinion, but don't force your beliefs on others.
What is clear is that new attitudes on topics such as abortion, homosexuality and divorce have created a rethinking about the direction of our society. For better or worse, we are embarking on new paths that will, hopefully, benefit most segments of our population. Dear Doctors:
I have been in restaurants where I have received service that was so cold and impersonal that the waitress or waiter might just as well have worn a sign that read: "The law made us open the door to you, but we don't have to like letting you in."
When it comes to bad treatment from a waiter or waitress, I think most blacks should fight back with the tip -- not the lip. The day of embarrassing ourselves, because we were purposefully left without glasses of water or silverware, is over.
I believe that if a waiter or waitress doesn't appreciate my patronage enough to smile, then he or she definitely won't enjoy a tip from me.
It is true that law does not require anyone to enjoy service black people, nor does the law require black people to leave a tip. I suggest to restaurant workers, that if you want black customers to tip like white customers, then treat us with the same degree of respect. -- A. W., Alexandria, Va. Dear A. W.:
Your letter is representative of many we receive from black customers concerning the charge that they tip less than white customers. What emerges from this mail is that despite the outlawing of discrimination in public accommodations more than 15 years ago, many black people still believe they are discriminated against in terms of quality of service they receive in hotels and restaurants.
The practice of tipping, of course, was created to express feelings about the quality of service, whether good or bad. Some blacks fight back by undertipping for poor service.
What is really troubling about this issue is that shows many blacks are experiencing tensions and stress, worrying about how they will be treated in restaurants and other public accommodations. If, indeed, the perceptions of blacks are correct, they are being bombarded with microaggressions, subtle though they may be, from both white and black waitresses and waiters.
One can well understand that holding back on a tip may be a healthful and appropriate response to this covert discrimination.