You certainly have all the answers for troubled blacks in this country. Well, there are plenty of other minorities who are suffering real pain that has been inflicted by some of these same blacks.
I am a young college student of Asian descent who has been harassed beyond belief by blacks. Please explain why the only people ever to mock me, shout insulting, imitation Oriental speech at me and slant their eyes at me are black. Why are blacks the only people who vandalize my home and break into my automobile -- not to mention tackling and molesting me?
I am not only speaking of ignorant children but also of "grown" men and women who should surely know better.
Never in my life has a Caucasian person dared to threat me in this insulting, infuriating way, although I live in a predominantly white city. For some reason, blacks are the only ones eager to humiliate and degrade me at first sight.
Don't most black parents discipline themselves and their children to respect others -- especially those who have never done anything to them? What make blacks so much more obnoxious, bold and sadistic than whites when it comes to tormenting Asians?
I have "turned the other cheek" all too often. I'm almost tempted to think their behavior is the result of physiological defects. S. E. P., Milwaukee, Wis. Dear S. E. P.
The behavior of the black people you describe is not the result of physiological defects, but the result of ignorance and misplaced anger.
It is not uncommon for an oppressed group of people to look for vulnerable members of society to belittle and degrade. People such as this usually have very poor self-images and mistakenly believe they can bolster their egos by demeaning other minority groups. In fact, such blacks may actually demean each other with derogatory remarks about blacks who are dark-skinned or light-skinned, or who have different hair textures.
It is not surprising, then, that blacks who harbor this type of self-hatred may delight in "making fun" of yellow and brown people. In many cities, blacks and Puerto Ricns, blacks and Mexican-Americans, and blacks and Orientals indulge in mutual rejection. Often, members of an oppressed group try to dissociate themselves from members of another oppressed group because an association would heighten their feeling of being at the bottom -- the rejected ones.
Your anger is understandable, particularly if you anticipated kind behavior from blacks, because you are a colored minority who has not directly participated in the oppression of blacks. Rest assured, there are many blacks who feel a strong sense of kinship with Third World people.
Your implied suggestion that black parents -- indeed, all parents -- teach their children not to be bigoted is a sound one. Racial and ethnic minorities must be especially sensitive to the dignity of other minorities if they are to gain their own sense of worthiness and respect. Dear Doctors:
I am 28, female and white. Two years ago, I began dating a black man and hoped to marry him. He was working two jobs and was a nice guy, but by the time I was eight months pregnant, I wasn't so sure.
I was beat up for agreeing to an untrue accusation: Jerry is very jealous and he said I had relations with someone else. Although it was untrue, I finally agreed with him to make him stop accusing me. The physical abuse continued until the baby was born. One time he beat me so badly, I was hospitalized for four days.
I was hurt and I left. I traveled across the country and now live in a town that is 99 percent white. I am on welfare and lonely and I don't know whether to contact my old boyfriend. I am afraid to date, because if he ever finds out, he'll kill me.
I guess I need some solid advice, and I turn to you. N. H., Seattle, Wash. Dear N. H.:
As you probably realize, you have made some serious mistakes. Usually, a jealous, physically abusive man will not relent if you admit to his accusations. Quite the opposite, it confirms and increases his paranoia. It was poor judgment on your part to agree to his charges, but you were absolutely correct in leaving such a volatile person.
Now you are feeling isolated and continue to be frightened. You should forget about your former boyfriend, though, and realize that any man who persistently assaulted you is not worth having. Do not renew the relationship -- the risk to you and your child is too great.
You should not live in fear. If your former boyfriend should locate you and threaten or physically abuse you, you should immediately contact the police for protection.
Your former boyfriend is out of your life, and you should begin to date other men in an effort to build a good friendship.
You should also examine your own past behavior to avoid future mistakes. Your welfare social worker should be helpful to you in adapting to your new home. Talk to him or her and ask for help.