You can quit hunting through law libraries, Chris Gordon. The story is never going to run. It was all a con.
Those two young women who interviewed you last fall for the Georgetown Law Review weren't reporters. They weren't even law students. They were a secretary from Arlington and a hospital clerk from Bowie who have a crush on you, and who had to see for themselves what you're made of -- up close and personal, as your network might put it.
Their names are Vickie and Mary, 23 and 24, respectively. They have last names, like most of us. But to print them would be fatal, Mary insisted, "because we'd die of embarrassment. Pul-eeeze, don't." I've never been able to say no to a set of blue eyes, so I couldn't see a reason to start now.
In case you're a TV avoider, Chris Gordon is a news anchorman on Channel 7. Lots of Washington women think he's the cat's meow, cutewise. As Mary put it:
"He's charming. He's got those sparkly blue eyes. He's got that little mustache. He's attractive and he knows it. He's just, oooooh." While delivering the oooooh, Mary wriggled in her seat as only a woman with a crush can wriggle.
Many young females have a "thing" about young male TV personalities. But how many have ever tried to see Mr. Wonderful in person? For most women in full crush, the prospect would be too intimidating. What if he refused to see them? Worse, what if he turned out to be a turkey?
But Vickie and Mary were confident, in spades. One November Saturday, it was Vickie's birthday. Emboldened by that, she and Mary simply walked into WJLA's studios on Connecticut Avenue at about 2 p.m. and asked the receptionist for Chris Gordon. In a few minutes, Old Heartthrob himself had come to greet them.
"We told him we were law students doing an article for the law review," Mary said. "He asked us, 'Is it because I used to be an attorney?' We had no idea he used to be an attorney. But we said yes. We were terrific bluffers."
Gordon was as nice as nice can be. He escorted Vickie and Mary to the Channel 7 junk food room, bought them each a Coke and proceeded to tell them about the TV business for the better part of an hour. Then he gave them a personal guided tour of WJLA's studios. As he said goodbye, he was all smiles.
"All the way down in the elevator, we were dying," said Mary. "Have you ever tried not to laugh for an hour? We must have spent the rest of the day giggling."
How were the reviews of Gordon in the flesh? "Vickie and I agreed that whenever we hear the name, we get interested. Very interested."
Have they retired as celebrity-chasers? Not a chance, says Mary. Look out, George Will!